Pinched from Luvgonzo on the Chelsea board http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/drogba-returns-to-chelsea-to-die-2014072888964 Drogba returns to Chelsea to die STRIKER Didier Drogba is dragging himself back to Stamford Bridge to end his days, the club has confirmed. The player, who enjoyed his glory years at Chelsea, has somehow sensed his own forthcoming demise and is limping thousands of miles to die in the place that loved him best. Sport scientist Denys Finch Hatton said: âItâs an extraordinary natural phenomenon. âThese creatures, magnificent in their prime, use some rudimentary homing instinct to find their way through a baffling maze of contracts to live out their last moments showered with applause from fans. âItâs almost as if theyâre intelligent.â Other footballers who have made the same journey include Henrik Larsson, whose bones lie in the 30 yard box at Helsingborg and still contribute the occasional assist. Drogba, who is currently leading a herd of international footballers across the Asian steppes, is expected to arrive for Chelseaâs first game of the season. He will walk slowly onto the pitch, commit a last two-footed career-threatening tackle, then die when an opposing player retaliates to win his team one final penalty. Jose Mourinho said: âIt will be a majestic sight. âUnlike Frank Lampard, who has travelled to New York to live out his final days in complete anonymity and will die there, alone and forgotten, in a back alley.â
Nice play on Drogba being from the Ivory Coast, who usually feature some sort of elephant on their kits. Cue Drogba scoring the winner against Liverpool and Spurs. He's not so old he's not still dangerous. It might be a good signing. On the other hand, Mourinho's various attempts to turn back the clock would be disturbing if I were a Chelsea fan.
It's bad news for Arsenal. He always gives them hell and Wenger never makes much of an attempt to deal with him specifically, which I find a bit odd. A better fit for their system than Torres or Eto'o, though I don't see what Mourinho has against Lukaku. Not exactly thinking of the future, is it? Back up for Costa, useful from the bench and he'll lead the line in the domestic cups. Meh.
I think Jose has lost the plot. A lot of water has flowed under the (stamford) bridge since Jose's departure. He had lost the dressing room at Real Madrid, upset EUEFA with his eye pokes and other idiotic stunts, and expects Drogba to be the same player fro 4 years ago. Add to that his little horse story, which to be blunt, made him look foolish, I can only see a clash of egos between the Portugeeza and the Russian mafia boss. What's the odds on a departure round about Christmas time?
You never know Spurs or Sex, both have huge egos, I have a feeling it will all end in a massive disagreement.
With Torres in the ranks, bringing back Drogba makes a lot of sense. But so would bringing back Dixon, Osgood or Greaves.
