Pedants' Corner

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"would/could of" instead of "have"

God. That's one of mine.

OK here goes.

The misuse of the words 'I and me'. For instance 'Tom and me are going to the pub' f**k OFF. It should be 'Tom and I are going to the pub' FFS!

The constant use of the word 'like' out of context. The phrase 'Ya know wot I'm sayin'. If you spoke properly, then yes, we would know what you are saying.

'This one is better than what that one is' f**k OFF. This one is better than that one.

Additionally there is no such language as English (US) so f**k OFF MICROSOFT ET AL.
 
Your and you're getting mixed up.
Double negatives................"I ain't done nothing wrong".
 
People who say just going to or where is the bog instead of toilet. Also saying yella rather yellow card, last one my old man rather than dad.
 
Misuse of the word 'literally'.

It literally makes my blood boil.

On the money with that one

Basically is my pet hate ... Because most of the time when it's used the person then talks about complex crap

Radar also Things on my Radar in my world makes me boil over and I can't sit through meetings with thick eankers who use these terms

Walked out on John Lewis meeting recently after counting 20 radars and 40 plus basically and certain there was a few literally words also refused to go to meetings until this language is wiped out ... People hiding behind waffle with little or no skill set
Burn them all
 
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Interviewees (often footballers, it seems) who punctuate their sentences, often frequently, with the words "you know".

Although not strictly pedantry, I hope you will all please indulge me this catharsis. I have to confess an almost irrationally psychotic hatred of those fu*%$ng godawful jeans of the type that have a crutch hanging around the wearers knees. If I see a person donning these, I am unable rationalise anything but the narrow minded view that the wearer is clearly sub-intelligent and furthermore, that the world would somehow be improved if said wearer was sterilised.
 
Extremely picky of me, but I get annoyed when French president Hollande's name is pronounced 'ALLONDE rather than 'OLLANDE. Almost every newsreader does this.
 
Here here
Towing the line
Hail and hearty

A little off topic, but when someone is giving you a blow by blow account of an argument they won - allegedly - and they "turned around" to say their bit, and then the other person turned around to say their bit, to which they again turned around to offer a devastating put down, and on and on.....
 
I'm loving this, an ode to the tolerance, sense of proportion and balance of the middle aged Englishman. And those of you how do not think you are yet middle aged, bad luck, your heads are there already.

Keep it going, we'll cover all of my extremely long list of pet hates eventually.........
 
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Here here
Towing the line
Hail and hearty

A little off topic, but when someone is giving you a blow by blow account of an argument they won - allegedly - and they "turned around" to say their bit, and then the other person turned around to say their bit, to which they again turned around to offer a devastating put down, and on and on.....

"Turned around" Arrrggghhh I can feel the bile rising now, I had forgotten that particular irritant.

How about the phrase "so to speak" and overuse of the usually pointless words "in terms of" during some form of explanation or within general dialogue.
 
One that gets me going whenever I see it:

British people who pronounce the word "Lieutenant" as Lootenant instead of Leftenant.

It's happening more and more in films these days, and it's either because people can't be bothered or the (usually american) director insists they are right simply because they are from the Colonies...
 
Apart from the grammatical mistakes the 'basically'; 'actually'; 'technically' balls is just people who have nothing to say buying time in which to say it.

I was in a big meeting where the CEO of my company was speaking. He came out with the biggest work cliche of all 'people are our greatest asset'. I couldn't stop myself - really? not the products which we sell $20+bn of a year, or the research facilities and manufacturing sites we have all over the world? Because I'm pretty sure that if we get taken over, its the people the new owners will look to cut, not the products or the capital assets - a short silence after which he responded "Yeah, you're right. That's lazy crowd pleasing talk, you won't hear it from me again". To his credit and my huge relief.
 
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I'm loving this, an ode to the tolerance, sense of proportion and balance of the middle aged Englishman. And those of you how do not think you are yet middle aged, bad luck, your heads are there already.

Keep it going, we'll cover all of my extremely long list of pet hates eventually.........

I am not loving this. Can we no longer simply like something? Even if we do love it (although it might be odd to love a net forum thread) do we have to say "I am loving." I think McDonalds may well be guilty for this particular infraction upon language decency.

I now realise that, beyond being middle aged, I am also a miserable bast4rd.
 
Interviewees (often footballers, it seems) who punctuate their sentences, often frequently, with the words "you know".

Although not strictly pedantry, I hope you will all please indulge me this catharsis. I have to confess an almost irrationally psychotic hatred of those fu*%$ng godawful jeans of the type that have a crutch hanging around the wearers knees. If I see a person donning these, I am unable rationalise anything but the narrow minded view that the wearer is clearly sub-intelligent and furthermore, that the world would somehow be improved if said wearer was sterilised.

Im with you on that one, one ambled into the road in front of me and could only walk like a penguin, took him 10 seconds to walk the width of my car, deserved the abuse he got and the uncertainty of whether he did have skid marks on his pants after I told him he did.
 
One that gets me going whenever I see it:

British people who pronounce the word "Lieutenant" as Lootenant instead of Leftenant.

It's happening more and more in films these days, and it's either because people can't be bothered or the (usually american) director insists they are right simply because they are from the Colonies...

I was in a pub once with a work colleague who asked for a pint of 'BOMBARDEEAY' rather than Bombardier.
 
I am not loving this. Can we no longer simply like something? Even if we do love it (although it might be odd to love a net forum thread) do we have to say "I am loving." I think McDonalds may well be guilty for this particular infraction upon language decency.

I now realise that, beyond being middle aged, I am also a miserable bast4rd.

****, good point. I have tried to excise 'guys' from my vocabulary on the totally correct urging of DT. In my defence I do work for an American company and am in conversation with them every day, I may be infected. Currently engaged in a long battle over whether the emphasis should fall on the first or second syllable of the word 'attribute' - so long I have forgotten where I stand on it.
 
A couple of expressions heard here in Atlantic Canada:-

"never heard tell of that" (not heard about that)

"oh my lan" (expression of surprise)
 
One that gets me going whenever I see it:

British people who pronounce the word "Lieutenant" as Lootenant instead of Leftenant.

It's happening more and more in films these days, and it's either because people can't be bothered or the (usually american) director insists they are right simply because they are from the Colonies...
Can't help pointing out Willie that you don't see it, you hear it.... :)
 
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