I have a franchise, I search the streets of Glasgow for loose change and I get to keep 50% of everything I find.
Get Up Shower Put on yesterdays pants and socks Put on work uniform Carry baby downstairs Put Postman pat on Make babies bottle make/drink coffee If I can be arsed, make breakfast Give baby her bottle Change babies nappy Put babies clothes on her Make packed lunch Leave house drop baby at grandmothers Go to work Knackered already!
Get up Piss Pose for a bit Breakfast of weetabix milk and uncooked oats Pack gym bag Brush teeth Get dressed Go to gym
Wake up Lie in bed for 5 more minutes Get out of bed Iron shirt Shower Shave (if needed) Brush teeth Get Dressed Leave House
Can't understand people watching telly first thing in the morning. The last time I did that was 1969 and the fake lunar landings.