Off Topic The Rep Brothel
- Thread starter Albert's Chip Shop
- Start date
-
Please bear with us on the new site integration and fixing any known bugs over the coming days. If you can not log in please try resetting your password and check your spam box. If you have tried these steps and are still struggling email [email protected] with your username/registered email address
-
Morning all. Breakfast rep will be dished up in about 20 mins.
Yes dave and GTH. You are on the menu, so don't even start to think about your early morning whinging
afternoon all
rep
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.
He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head. He then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.
An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks...
Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap..'
The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar:
'He lives in a home with a non-stop chatting, nagging, complaining wife, and 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep.
Can I come with him tomorrow?'
He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head. He then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.
An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks...
Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap..'
The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar:
'He lives in a home with a non-stop chatting, nagging, complaining wife, and 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep.
Can I come with him tomorrow?'
I hope you said yes.
You have given out too much Reputation in the last 24 hours, try again later.
..
Rep for the above, the rest it wouldnt let me, got to spread
Rep for the above, the rest it wouldnt let me, got to spread
Repped The DR says
A Banker parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.
As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before zooming off.
More than a little distraught, the Banker grabs his mobile and calls the police.
Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance to ask any questions, the man starts screaming hysterically: 'My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter
how long it's at the panel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!'
After the man finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust.
'I can't believe how materialistic you bloody Bankers are,' he says. 'You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life.'
'How can you say such a thing at a time like this?' sobs the Porsche owner.
The policeman replies, 'Didn't you realise that your arm was torn off when the truck hit you.'
The Banker looks down in horror.
"BLOODY HELL!' he screams........'Where's my Rolex????...
As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before zooming off.
More than a little distraught, the Banker grabs his mobile and calls the police.
Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance to ask any questions, the man starts screaming hysterically: 'My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter
how long it's at the panel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!'
After the man finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust.
'I can't believe how materialistic you bloody Bankers are,' he says. 'You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life.'
'How can you say such a thing at a time like this?' sobs the Porsche owner.
The policeman replies, 'Didn't you realise that your arm was torn off when the truck hit you.'
The Banker looks down in horror.
"BLOODY HELL!' he screams........'Where's my Rolex????...
Rep for the above, the rest it wouldnt let me, got to spread
.
repped who I could
repped who I could
Clicked dislike by accident Hoops , apologies .