A boy I knew who worked in the Merc garage once got sent along to the Jeep garage for foreskin washers Spastic actually went. My favourite is the left handed spade though.
Pubs that employ daft young bints (actual "dumb waiters") the best place for vexatious requests. Skirting board ladders and a can of steam were my faves, along with the classic long stand.
The long stand is THE classic. Especially when they decide to call the apprentice back to tell him they now need an extra long stand.
When the chef used to send a waitress to us - or vice versa - for a long stand, said simple bint would always be told "ok, just hang on a minute". And then be left till some killjoy put them out of their misery. No doubt this sort of thing has been banned by the European Court of Human Rights by now.
Some army ones Keys for the indoor grenade range Sky hooks Misfire nets Keys for the regimental square
