Arsène Wenger, OBE (French pronunciation: Arse ****er; born 22 October 1949) is a French voyeur and *****phile best known for raping Patrick Viera and Sol Campbell therefore forcing them to leave his football team, Arsenal ****ers FC. During an interview, he claimed he raped them because they were black and supported the anti-*****phile website known as BlackNet.com. He is regarded as one of the world's most armed and dangerous *****s by the FBI, who believe he is currently masquerading as a football coach in England under the name "Arsene Wenger". The Bureau has listed his distinguishing features as acute myopia (blindness for the uniformed), an eyepatch, a hook, a wooden leg, grey skin and an aptitude for working with youths. Not to mention the fact that he's of Afro-Greenlandic origin. The FBI believes that if he is ever to smile, he will instantly and spontaneously self combust.