A Chinese man decides to move to Australia after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He buys a small house in Broken Hill. A few days after he moves, in the friendly Aussie neighbour decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region. He goes next door, but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens. Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day. The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day. A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese man lead a bull down the drive-way, pause, and then put his head next to the bull's bum. The Aussie bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chineseman and says: “Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighbourhood, and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass, and drinking it, and then, today you have your head so close to that bull's bum, it could just about **** on you.” The Chinese man is very taken back and says: “So sorry sir! You not understand. These not Chinese customs I doing: these Australian Customs.” “What do you mean mate”, says the Aussie, “Those aren't Australian customs.” “Yes they are. Man at travel agent tell me”, replied the Chinese man. “He say, to become true Australian, I must learn to chase chicks, drink piss, and listen to bull-****”.
I've added Repping education and all that Jazz to the Wycombe Branch Albert. Don't know if it's any use elsewhere.