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"normally when i poke grumpy twats in the eyes, i use two fingers, but for your glasses i'll need an extra one to flick them off before i get you..."
 
PR, **** I've just ****ing realised that this is ****ing not ****ing Sunderland, it was the ****ing red and ****ing white ****ing stripes............****, ****,****...........though the ****ing place looked ****ing different...........
 
"I was sat in this f_____ bar in Bangkok Tone. This Thai bird came and sat on my knee. She says "$10 and you can put those two up my snatch and the third one up the back end. I didn't even have to buy her a f______ drink!"