Footballer Paul Gascoigne was today sectioned under the Mental Health Act for acting like a Geordie. Yesterday, in Tyneside, he was spotted walking up to a woman and saying: 'You's a reet bonnie lass, tha knaas. Gonnae gan to the pub wi' us, for a pint or two of Newkie Broon?' And later a flat-capped Gazza was walking a whippet along the Scotstoun Road, dressed in nothing but a Newcastle United top . Asked why he was being so Geordie, he said: 'I dunna, like, what's a Geordie, what're ye taakin' aboot, man?' Fellow citizen of Newcastle, actor Jimmy Nail, made a few comments, but nobody understood what he was talking aboot - or rather about. However, local MP Tony Blair said this: 'Well, um, it's awfully bad luck for Paul, ah mean ya cannae dae that, like. Let's all hope that Mr. Gascoigne will be oot as soon as the 'eadshrinkers sort oot the fat, alky wuzzack.' Doctors have long treated Gazza for Geordie-like behaviour, including drinking 25 pints on Fridays and then spewing up a curry at 3 in the morning, and having the biggest belly in England. But the Section was necessary, as the player had started singing 'The Blayden Races' at some Sunderland fans, and then got into a fight with alan sheera over who was paying for the next round of drinks.
