No prizes for guessing what you'd be ' browsing ' thank you for making me conjour up an unwanted image !
A proper pony requires a cup of tea, three ***s, and a copy of the Racing Post. The interweb should never impose on the tranquility of the crapper.
Once or twice a day for me. My favourite kind are the stealth turds, when you don't have to wipe your arse more than once afterwards.