Any Good Jokes ..... Im bored

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My girlfriend is leaving me because of my constant jokes about the size of her vagina. I'm just glad she didnt give me a massive clout before she left.
 
My son asked if he could have a boy from school stay over tonight. "Do you think he is gay?" I asked my wife. "I think you should be more worried that its one of his pupils" she replied!
 
My girlfriend is leaving me because of my constant jokes about the size of her vagina. I'm just glad she didnt give me a massive clout before she left.

Ha! Reminds me of an old Chubby joke......

I was shagging this fat lass the other night, and I said "Here, there's no chance of me giving you a baby is there?" She said "No, you're alright, I've had the coil fitted". I said, "The size of your fanny you could have had carpets fitted!" <laugh>
 
Roy Hodgson only selected four strikers in his Euro 2012 squad;

Wayne Rooney
Jermain Defoe
Danny Welbeck
Andy Carroll

With Rooney suspended for the first two games and Defoe sent home for family reasons, we're left with only two striking options.

Danny Welbeck's right foot, and his left foot.
 
Ha! Reminds me of an old Chubby joke......

I was shagging this fat lass the other night, and I said "Here, there's no chance of me giving you a baby is there?" She said "No, you're alright, I've had the coil fitted". I said, "The size of your fanny you could have had carpets fitted!" <laugh>

Ah good old Chubbs......

I was with this lass the other night and I said "Here, your fanny is big isnt it....isnt it....isnt it". She said theres no need to repeat it" and I said "I ****ing didnt".
 
Trainee woman pilot radios to Air Traffic Control that her instructor has passed out. Traffic Control asks her to remain calm and follow their instructions. Blonde acknowledges.

Traffic control asks for her current height and position. She replied she was 5' 4" and sat down.

Traffic control asks her to repeat after them "Our Father that lives in heaven".
 
There are some corkers in their guys you made my weekend and sseing as its the Euros i thought this was awesome and truthfull

The England team visited an orphanage in Poland today. "Its heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope" said Ivor, aged 6