Now then Lads.. What's the most stupidest thing you have ever done? I'm talking Forrest Gump academy of being totally stupid? Mine was thinking Chinese women had horizontal fannies and when I met a thai woman in 2006 was looking for the opening on her left thigh. Met Greg Lake a few years ago and asked him what is was like to work with Neil Young. I'm sure you have better, I'm just a forgetful twat..
Running out of beer while working in Nigeria, it was 9:30 at night and we spoke to a tanker that was near by on the old VHF radio, he agreed to sell us some so we launched a Zodiac (rubber dingy) armed with dollars we set off into the night, pitch black, 10 foot waves and 4 hours later returned with loads of drink. ****ing stupid thing to do when i look back but when needs must. The things you do for a drink eh?
thought i was evil kneviel and come down the stairs at warp speed, forgot some ****er had put a mahogany door in the way
Many years ago I was in a club in Doncaster with some mates, a couple on the dance floor had us confused, was it man/woman or two women so I was sent to find out. Walked over and asked her/him to dance, it said OK, looked female, just. asked her if she fancied going out for a quick leg over, she said yes, outside against a wall, her trousers down to find it was indeed female, just, ****ed her, back inside and reported findings. Wrong on so many levels.
Some years back when I was still in the Uk the owner of my local kebab shop disappeared for a couple of weeks. So there I was belly full of bear and in need of a bedtime donner…. A taxi pulls up and the kebab shop owner steps out grabs and his suitcase….. “how was the holiday” I enthused….. “not good I went home to Italy to bury my mother” he spat back...........
Perloined a steam roller in Cyprus one night after a very heavy session in Limassol as it was 30Km back to barracks however anyone who drives said steam rollers for a living will tell you they are not the speediest so ended up walking as it was faster. Did about 2Km then tried to stop it no joy so left it apparently it rolled through a barn somewhere and came to rest in a ditch.
once on holiday in Cyprus and picked up local girl, just outside Limassol nd took her to a barn. Just getting a head of steam up when a ****ing steamroller came crashing in, ****ed my night up.
While in the paras i had an MG. midget had a few drinks with my mate and decided to go back to camp, met a couple of friends at the chinese and gave them a lift, they were sat on the body with feet on the parcel shelf, I forgot about them in the back, and went straight under the barrier at the camp, the had to dive for it and the noodles where everywhere. luckily no one was injured, and the car was 2ins lower than the barrier
You will see from my comment, number 11, about my evening in the barn, left me shook up so I decided to call for a chinese to cheer me up. In the que I met a mate who was heading back to camp in his MG, got a lift. You would not believe what happened?
A mate of mine had just bought a new Triumph Herald and wanted some movie footage of the car. I agreed to help him. We went to a quiet but straight country road and there I was taking the pics of him flying past. Then he had a brilliant idea of the car speeding towards me. So there I was lying down in the middle of the road with the cine camera running as he came charging down the road. He did stop about two feet in front of me and I have to say when we got the film back it looked pretty spectacular but even now I sometimes wonder 'what if he hadn't stopped in time'. I must've been crazy and can't even blame drink for making me do it but, as I said, it did look good.
That I'm afraid is something which I'm still to embarrassed/ashamed to reveal even after it being nearly 30 years ago and having the anonimity of hiding behind this cyber-space ID. All I will say is that it was in a public place, I was very, very drunk, and it was a mate who passed me the cream cake... I also remember that the next day I thought it had all been a bad dream until the mate in question phoned me and told me it was all true: he has never let me forget it since...
Syd you have had more escapes than Houdini, and a life as exciting as Jason Bourne, bet your a great laugh when its pull up a sandbag time, and ill tell you a story. cracking whit mate.
