I don't mind us playing crap, I've even come to take some sort of pleasure from some of the really crap performances. I don't think I've ever enjoyed an away match as much as the night we lost 5-0 at Forest with Quashie bumbling around the midfield because of the gallow's humour which has always been something I've loved about QPR. I think we and fans of other clubs outside the biggest ten or so are lucky in that we can take delight in an away point at Port Vale- an Arsenal or Chelsea fan could neve be so easily pleased. Saying that, I'm of an age where I've never seen a really good QPR team and I was really up for this season at the start just for the chance to see that **** team I fell in love with have a bit of a go at the big boys. I wasn't expecting much and if you'd offered me 17th at the start I'd have been ecstatic but that was with the core of a team that I had real pride in last season. Blokes like Gorkks, Derry and Hill aren't really Prem footballers but you know it hurts them if they play crap so I can forgive their lack of ability. What gets me down is that we've signed some players of genuine quality, the sort we could only have dreamed of even months ago, but I wonder if some of them actually care if they put in a poor performance. Maybe it was just youthful naivety but most of the dross that have been able to call themselves QPR players over the years I have been going have, in my opinion, cared about QPR. They didn't just appreciate being footballers and the money and status that meant, even in Division 2, they had a genuine affinity with the club because there seemed a genuine bond between fans, players and the club itself. Not all of them, of course, I was there for Carl Leaburn's sole appearance and even saw Leon Jeanne a few times when he was probably too coked up to know what QPR stood for and dozens of others, but as a kid they mostly seemed like good lads happy to be playing football on a weekend like you or I for a Sunday league side.
I still get that same buzz when they go out there and give it everything and scrap for a result but those performances have become increasingly rare. Of course I'll still be there week in week out and pay whatever ludicrous price it costs financially and otherwise but, honestly, give me a 1-0 win at Grimsby with Eric Sabin, a player barely of greater ability than myself, scoring and the lot of them being wealthy but still able to relate to over any win against Wigan, Wolves or Stoke when the players will seem fantastic for those 90 minutes but probably don't really feel any different to if they've just got done 3-0. I love it still and desperately hope we stay up and build ourselves up to being an established side at this level but I struggle to foresee a time when I can really enjoy it like I used to, but, as said, that might just be a result of growing up a bit. It's just not a laugh on a weekend like it was. It's all got a bit serious.
