It needs saying

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Steven Royston O'Neill

Steven Royston O'Neill

Well-Known Member
Jan 25, 2011
19,511
80
63
UK
Now then, something on my mind, something that is becoming a problem and something that needs sharing.

The problem is that in saying it I'm bound to upset someone and that will start the very thing I'm trying to explain, it will become clear, honest.

So I'm not saying that anyone is right or that anyone is wrong I am saying that differing styles are causing a problem, from day one I have said this is your board, the posters, and it needs to be run how you want it, my problem is its starting to go how I no longer enjoy it, and I'm not alone.

For 11 months I have watched how the forum has grown, people come and people go and every day there is a problem that I get dragged into on some board. It usualy ends with someone being banned and me getting abused, thats fine but I always had this board to come back to, of late I have not enjoyed coming back.

Many posters have stopped posting or are posting less, we lost a lot during the BIB/BOB fights, not blaming either side just stating a fact and we are still losing them. Whats more concerning to me is that I am now getting PM's from regular posters saying they are no longer enjoying the board, the problem, Abuse.

The Newcastle board is all but dead, it will come back but will never be the same, many will say who cares, well I do because that small death of one part kills a bit of the whole and one reason for people leaving was abuse.

Maybe a better word than abuse would be aggro, people who seem to have an aggresive style, always ready to jump in, they will usualy say when challenged, grow a pair, IMO they miss the point. Many people come on here to debate, share views, have a laugh or ask advice, they have grown a pair just dont come on here to use them.

Now I know many find my posts, my moring walks with Osca to be boring, thats fine because you can choose not to read them. A thread entitled, all Necastle fans are ****s, is fine by me, you know what it will be and can choose not to read it.

My problem, or concern is the way threads that start as good threads turn into slanging matches and none stop abuse, that, IMO, is what is chasing people and I am probably as guilty as anyone in falling for it, we all bite at times.

Now my fear is that in posting this it will turn into one more thread that becomes I'm right, you are wrong so **** you, I hope not. Its a genuine attempt to point out a problem as I see it and to give peole the chance to voice an opinion, not a right opinion or a wrong opinion, just their opinion.

I honestly believe that its better out than in, if there is a problem we are better talking about it, clear the air, accept that even people who we may disagree with have the same rights to an opinion.

I'm hoping that in doing that, bringing it out into the open we can ALL learn a little, adapt a little and improve our understanding of others views.

Rightly or wrongly I just cant ignore how I feel and what others are telling me.
 
It doesn't help that innocent posts such as mine on the Quinn Tribute thread are misinterpreted by ****witts such as Billy Balls. He argued with me for over two pages.
 
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Since we have started to perform better, i feel we are at a loss as to what to talk about. Before it was BiB & BoB, each arguing our point of view and taking/giving abuse to the people of the camp. Transfer windows are harder due to MoN having the straightest poker face, which in turn makes it harder for us to gossip about potential targets before the ones we suggest are all shot down with "He's way outta our league" and "He's ****".

Couple that with the abuse that plagues ANY internet chat forum, it is no wonder people are leaving. The mags board was infested with alot of kids that shout abuse all day, and while this board has it aswell, i feel there were more mags over there, so the percentages were higher for wums. I did however find a fair few of them were level headed and in there for good banter. They are the ones that are missed.

The threads that start well but end up in abuse will always be there i think, as that is part and parcel of the deep rivalries involved in football. People have the need to always feel what they believe in is superior to everyone else, just look at religion :S In the end, hopefully only the people who want to be here remain, and even if it is a small community, it remains level headed and a good place to come. Thats the problem with growing to large, it gets outta control.
 
Viking Erik said:
It doesn't help that innocent posts such as mine on the Quin Tribute thread are misinterpreted by ****witts such as Billy Balls. He argued with me for over two pages.
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but you are no fool so must know that in answering with ****wit will start a new round of abuse, thanks for making my point.
 
cyprussydsafc said:
but you are no fool so must know that in answering with ****wit will start a new round of abuse, thanks for making my point.
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I did notice that you said "my fear is that in posting this it will turn into one more thread that becomes I'm right, you are wrong so **** you". Don't make it into one, Syd :)
 
cyprussydsafc said:
but you are no fool so must know that in answering with ****wit will start a new round of abuse, thanks for making my point.
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In real life, we are selective over who we are friends with, based on our own personalities. If we don't like someone, we tell them to **** off and don't add them to Facebook. On here though, we can't do that. We are all massive football fans, and love our club passionately - but because this is the only place (well, the best place. I find the smb worse than here, and didnt bother with ja606) where we can talk about our club, there is always going to be personality clashes. And because this isn't real life, we can tell them to **** off and call them whatever without any repercussions. You are always going to be a tough guy behind a keyboard.
 
With you on this one Syd. Am not much of a poster as my Sunderland days are more in the past. I do though go onto other sites and this one has some great posters.

As a transplanted Cestrian who has lived in many parts of the world, compliments of HM Forces, the one thing I miss out here is being a listener to others "debating" football issues. When BBC made its cutbacks and 606 went I was totally grateful for this site - football loyalty is paramount to most people but unfortunately emotions get into the debate too early. There are no rights or wrongs in debates only opinions as misguided as some are.

I read this board for its total content and have had some great laughs, moments of disbelief at the narrow mindedness of some folks, but running through it all is passion and loyalty to your club. When a writer has something to say they cannot possibly convey it emotionally - therefore laying into sombedy/thing always comes across without any levity or nuance.



My advice as an "oldie" - sit back read it twice then remember that to argue with an idiot is to come down to his level then he beats you with experience.
 
I enjoy the arguments and disagreements: after all, it would be a boring site if we all were of the same point of view on everything...What I can't fathom out is why some feel the need to abuse fellow supporters who they disagree with...What's all that about?
 
It needs saying...............

[video=youtube;1EY7lYRneHc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EY7lYRneHc[/video]

[video=youtube;G9GO5-dnTN0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9GO5-dnTN0&feature=related[/video]

We ALL need to lighten it up a bit more often :smile:
 
Well said Syd and an excellent post and I'm with Nostalgic on this one which is another excellent post What i would say though is that it is difficult to post in a forum that would appear to have a kind of clique following. Example of this would be Shameless thread for new posters - now that doesn't really help in bringing new posters on board - to the detriment in fact. IMHO

I dont post often but am an avid reader. I don't post because as my thoughts are generally already said. I love SAFC but its not my life; i hate it when we get beat but its not the be all and end all, in essence its my overriding passion. The banter on here is excellent (majority of times), quite sad at times (The Janie Thread where i honestly had me in tears). However the real reason why i like this site is that the passion is second to none, it would appear that their are some serious cyber friends made and the passion for SAFC that is shown by nearly everyone and personally i think its the best forum out there. I for one wont be leaving and i will constantly read, i hope and i seriously hope that this board goes from strength to strength.
 
This is all getting a bit self-reverential for me. I just like Sunderland to win football games and to talk to people who do likewise and have some banter with mags and other fans. Simple really. I actually pity wums cos' they are obviously sad bastards I think they need to get down to the pub and meet a real woman.
 
I'm with farnboromackem on this - I read some great stuff on this board. And when the silly responses are sent to break the thread I just miss them out and move on.
I've had some good laughs reading the more constructive responses and hope the core supporters continue to use to discuss and comment.
It would not be possible without someone like cyprussydsafc keeping it together, and that must be draining at times with some of the negative rubbish that some posers put forward.
 
Woody said:
I'm with farnboromackem on this - I read some great stuff on this board. And when the silly responses are sent to break the thread I just miss them out and move on.
I've had some good laughs reading the more constructive responses and hope the core supporters continue to use to discuss and comment.
It would not be possible without someone like cyprussydsafc keeping it together, and that must be draining at times with some of the negative rubbish that some posers put forward.
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Totally agree. Don't let the tossers wear you down Syd. We are Sunderland!
 
It is not the idiot posters starting the abuse that are the problem, after-all they can't help it as they are idiots.

What I fail to comprehend is the people who rise to the blatant and somewhat pathetic abuse - there is no excuse for it.
 
if you want me to be all nicey nicey to members that talk bollocks and I dont agree with, but you want me to agree with, its not going to happen.

If you want a lively board with good debates, and NOT started by 2 ****ing idiots who are the same person, and MAGS at that ((and ppl wonder why if there is a clique (which there isnt at all) but if there was, its because of twats like that who always have us on the defensive)).

I love the debates, and i would rather have that than everyone patting each other on that back and saying well done, when deep down they are "WTF is he talking about, ****ing idiot".

If you want that then I and i am sure a few others will go elsewhere.

PS: I see one of those idiots is back. ^^
 
Now I know many find my posts, my moring walks with Osca to be boring
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These are class and i look forward to reading them and think you do a fantastic job on here.

My problem, or concern is the way threads that start as good threads turn into slanging matches and none stop abuse
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This is the thing that annoys me most when we are trying to have a good debate about a player bought or our game or the crowds there is always some smug Skunk come in and spoil the debate.
I must admit i am one that has not posted lately.
I won,t hide the fact i hate the mags with a passion but i think only once or twice have i ever been on their board.
I don,t mind if they want to say something constructive and join in the debate but otherwise they should just **** off.
 
I don't mind the idiots as I seem to be able to ignore them but am surprised by the level of aggression shown by some.
However, I'm more of reader than a poster and am sure it would quickly wind me up if I had a knob butting into my conversations all the time.

I do agree there is a familiarity of some members on this board that can at times appear exclusionary but I don't think this is intended, if your mate walks into a bar you are going to go and say hello aren't you. Generally I enjoy the board and its silliness especially so my advice Syd try to ignore the bits that annoy you and focus on the good stuff we all take from this board as it does not actually matter is only a message board after all. However, I do understand that constant abuse must be very wearing and rest assured most of us are very grateful for the bang up job you do.
 
For me the mags dont spoil the debate they add something new to it, yes, they can come across condescending at times, but I am pretty sure if we went over there, we would as well (without even realising it).

And we do have wums from here who go over there and wind them up.

My point is, Not EVERY mag comes across here to wind us up, its maybe 1 or 2, but we have 1 or 2 that go over there and try to wind them up as well.

its just tit for tat, horses for courses for me.

Its ppl complaining that gets on my tits, I hate the GC, so guess what, I dont read the threads there, just because its there you dont have to read it, and if you do, and dont like it, just press the back button and move onto the next thread, you dont have to get involved or make threads complaining.
 
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