The Perfect Turkey

[Sam Axe]

Don't stuff it to allow the hot air to circulate the inside as well as the outside.
A layer of butter underneath the skin.
Cover with streaky bacon.
Put your carrots, parsnips and an onion in the tray around the base of the turkey along with chicken stock.
Wrap turkey and tray in turkey foil.
Cook for 20 minutes per kilo.
Keep it well basted using the juices in the tray.
An hour before the end remove the foil to ensure it gets a nice golden brown colour.
Use the juices as the base for your gravy.

Voila, you will have the perfect turkey for Christmas dinner.

 

[truth seeker]

All turkey tastes like blotting paper.

 

[Gambol]

Here's my perfect turkey recipe:

Get her to ****in cook it.

 

[Sam Axe]

Here's my perfect turkey recipe:

Get her to ****in cook it.

Even if she is a **** cook who burns cornflakes?

 

[Gambol]

Even if she is a **** cook who burns cornflakes?

Well, in that case, get shot of her and get a burd that can cook.

 

[El_Bando]

Get the turkey to cook your wife

 

[RAVENBLACK]

Turkey is ****in tasteless.

Get yourself a gammon joint.

Bootiful.

 

[irishgreen]

Turkey is ****in tasteless.

Get yourself a gammon joint.

Bootiful.

And cook it in coke

 

[alwaysright]

Well, in that case, get shot of her and get a burd that can cook.

and not forgetting that she must give you a gobble !
<Iknowit'sChristmasbutthesejokesreallymustbecomingfromacracker>

 

[Jip Jaap Stam]

and not forgetting that she must give you a gobble !
<Iknowit'sChristmasbutthesejokesreallymustbecomingfromacracker>

<stopputtingthingsbetween<>it'smakingmyeyeshurt>

 

[Coffee55]

If you have a halogen oven cook the turkey in that. It will be a lot quicker and tastier.

 

[Gambol]

and not forgetting that she must give you a gobble !
<Iknowit'sChristmasbutthesejokesreallymustbecomingfromacracker>

Naturally.

<wenowhaveasecretlanguagewecanusetotalkaboutjipbehindhisback>

 

[RAVENBLACK]

And cook it in coke

We did that a few years back and it was amazing.

Got the idea from Nigella.

 

[irishgreen]

<Jip'sacunt>

 

[irishgreen]

we did that a few years back and it was amazing.

Got the idea from nigella.

snap

 

[Jip Jaap Stam]

Naturally.

<wenowhaveasecretlanguagewecanusetotalkaboutjipbehindhisback>

Don't make me remove the "mod's mate" immunity you currently enjoy on here!

 

[Gambol]

<getitrightfuckinupye>

 

[Tina_old]

If you have a halogen oven cook the turkey in that. It will be a lot quicker and tastier.

I've got one of those. I cooked a chicken in it once and I didn't eat it because I was suspicious of a light being able to cook a chicken in jig time.

 

[Sam Axe]

Turkey is ****in tasteless.

Get yourself a gammon joint.

Bootiful.

If you find it tasteless, you ain't cooking it right

 

[Tina_old]

I'm having a bird in a bird in a bird.

It's the word.