Right you barstewards who has scoffed my bloody crisps? Go away for 5 minutes and my cellar has been raped and pillaged. Even bird feathers all over the floor. Has plymborn been down here with a parrot or something. I'm going to have to do a stock take now and probably be up all night. I will be finger printing later so none of you think of sloping off.
I'm a bit bloody knackered to be honest. Up at 4am last Monday because I set the friggin alarm clock wrong. Got my ears chewed off all flipping day because of a simple mistake. Up at 7am on Tuesday just to go to Canterbury after breakfast for the day. Rained and was bloody cold. Up at 5am on Wednesday to go to Belgium and France (in reverse order) just to get harrassed by some snotty customs bloke with a stiff poker up his arse. Must have been some reason he was so uptight. Up at 6am this morning to get a breakfast before coming home. If it wasn't match day tomorrow I think I may have stayed in bed all day. Met people from Geordie land, Midlands, Yorkshire and Wales and were looked after by people from Poland, Romania, Pakistan and China in the hotel. Got asked by somebody from Exeter who got on the coach why I was wearing an Argyle coat. Asked him why he was travelling with a pig in a dress and he didn't speak again all trip. Fortunately the closest I got to Exeter was the services. Unfortunately I did have to get off the coach in Exeter to use the toilet facilities but it was rather lonely in the middle of St James Park.