1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,008
    Likes Received:
    293,648
    please log in to view this image
     
    #34341
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,008
    Likes Received:
    293,648
    please log in to view this image
     
    #34342
  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,571
    Likes Received:
    33,782
    please log in to view this image
     
    #34343
  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,571
    Likes Received:
    33,782
    Man Utd were 13th when they sacked Ten Hag
    Since then, they have:
    Signed Ruben Amorim, turned Amad into Messi and Maguire into Maldini, removed Rashford from the squad, beat Man City away in the derby and outplayed Liverpool at Anfield.
    please log in to view this image
     
    #34344
  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,571
    Likes Received:
    33,782
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,085
    Likes Received:
    147,383
    He must have pinched a Glump
     
    #34346

  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,008
    Likes Received:
    293,648
    please log in to view this image
     
    #34347
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,008
    Likes Received:
    293,648
    A barber runs out of his shop and down to the nearest corner where a policeman is standing."Officer," he asks, "have you seen a man run by here in the last few minutes?"

    "No, I haven't. What's the problem?""The lousy cheat ran out of my shop without paying me!""Does this fellow have any distinguishing features?" the officer asked.

    "Well, yes," the barber replies. "He's carrying one of his ears in his left hand."
     
    #34348
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,008
    Likes Received:
    293,648
    HE SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS!.......

    please log in to view this image
     
    #34349
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,008
    Likes Received:
    293,648
    please log in to view this image
     
    #34350
  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,008
    Likes Received:
    293,648
    This bloke asked if he could use my field for a civil war re enactment.

    I thought, sod that for a game of soldiers......
     
    #34351
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,008
    Likes Received:
    293,648
    Three people having sex is called a threesome.

    Two people having sex is called a twosome.

    Guess that’s why you’re people call you handsome.
     
    #34352
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,008
    Likes Received:
    293,648
    Pompey announce new third kit for next season........

    please log in to view this image
     
    #34353
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,008
    Likes Received:
    293,648
    please log in to view this image
     
    #34354
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,008
    Likes Received:
    293,648
    please log in to view this image
     
    #34355
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,008
    Likes Received:
    293,648
    please log in to view this image
     
    #34356
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,008
    Likes Received:
    293,648
    1st old lady: My joints are feeling stiff.

    2nd old lady: You're rolling them too tight
     
    #34357
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,008
    Likes Received:
    293,648
    My wife apologised to me today for the first time.

    She said she was sorry she married me.
     
    #34358
  19. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,571
    Likes Received:
    33,782
    please log in to view this image
     
    #34359
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,008
    Likes Received:
    293,648
    please log in to view this image
     
    #34360

Share This Page