I'm not falling for that one. I might have the first time, maybe the second...but I'm not falling for it again.
Husband and wife decide to make a password for sex, so they pick ‘washing machine.’ Later in bed that night husband says, “Washing machine.” Wife replies, “Not tonight darling . . . . I have a headache.” Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, “Washing machine.” Husband replies, “Too late . . . . it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.”
I love the look on peoples faces who are standing there in the pouring rain as you drive past. One of the reasons I became a bus driver
Oldie but goodie. An old Bobby Knoxall classic. I saw a dozen people running down the road earlier I shouted 'Oi, what's going on?' A bloke shouts 'a lions escaped from the zoo' 'Bloody hell, which way did it go?' 'You don't think we're f*cking chasing it do you?'
I got a b*llocking off HR a few years ago for saying that to a lass at work. Unless it was cos I said her buttocks had separate post codes
Police were called to our local conference centre today. Three different groups were having seminars, ex-convicts having rehabilitation, childminders on a training course and the annual conference of the Spoonerism Society which had a whip round for a member who'd had a serious accident. On returning from their lunch break they discovered all the money had been stolen ... ... the police were asked to search every crook and nanny
I was on my way home from a Xmas party and got pulled over by the police, the copper said..”you been drinking?” “Yes officer!” How much have you consumed?” I said..”ten or eleven pints of lager, seven or eight shorts and several glasses of wine!” He looked at me sternly and said…“that’s a lot of alcohol you’ve consumed tonight but it’s still not a valid reason for letting your wife drive!”
