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Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

Discussion in 'Southampton' started by TheSecondStain, Jul 15, 2014.

  1. tomw24

    tomw24 Well-Known Member
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    Yeah it's on my to watch list.
     
    #53141
  2. saintrichie123

    saintrichie123 Well-Known Member

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    A man walked into a hardware store and picked up a can of fly spray.

    "Is this good for wasps?" he asks the assistant.

    To which she replies "No, it kills them."
     
    #53142
  3. thereisonlyoneno7

    thereisonlyoneno7 Well-Known Member

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    I'm writing a book on how to climb stairs.

    It's a step by step guide.
     
    #53143
  4. SaintMarv

    SaintMarv Well-Known Member

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    A guy walked into a hardware store and says 'Four candles please."
     
    #53144
  5. Schrodinger's Cat

    Schrodinger's Cat Well-Known Member

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    Still one of the funniest sketches ever
     
    #53145
  6. StJabbo1

    StJabbo1 Well-Known Member

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    There you go.
     
    #53146
  7. ......loading......

    ......loading...... 25 undefeated

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    #53147
  8. Schrodinger's Cat

    Schrodinger's Cat Well-Known Member

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    #53148
    ......loading...... likes this.
  9. ChilcoSaint

    ChilcoSaint What a disgrace
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    “They’re meant to last longer, my sister’s had one for years”
     
    #53149
  10. fran-MLs little camera

    fran-MLs little camera Well-Known Member

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    Golden oldie for you. Tony Hancock’s blood donor sketch. People (of a certain age) still use the phrase ‘that’s practically an armful’ <laugh>
     
    #53150

  11. saintrichie123

    saintrichie123 Well-Known Member

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    A Glaswegian to on a skiing holiday to Canada.
    After a long day on the slopes he goes into the bar at his hotel. After 6 double whiskeys he looks up and notices a stuffed animal with antlers on the wall.
    He says to the barman
    "What the hell is that?"
    The barman says
    "It's a moose"
    The Glaswegian says
    "Well bugger me
    How big are the cats?"
     
    #53151
  12. thereisonlyoneno7

    thereisonlyoneno7 Well-Known Member

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    Lol and how many of us said that to ourselves in a poor Scottish accent <laugh>
     
    #53152
  13. SaintMarv

    SaintMarv Well-Known Member

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    This one you will probably have to say to yourself in a Scottish accent.


    A Glaswegian guy brings home his new girlfriend to meet his parent's for the first time
    " This is Amanda." His dad jumped out of his chair and said " It's a f**king what?"
     
    #53153
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2024
  14. San Tejón

    San Tejón Well-Known Member

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    The Mirror believes that they have discovered the identity of the person who assassinated Jill Dando. The guy is currently serving 40 years in prison for plotting 2 assassinations for Slobodan Milosevic, including that of another journalist who was killed in the same way as Jill, 2 weeks previously.

    Jill Dando murder revelation over Man X’s resemblance to secret service assassin
    https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/jill-dando-murder-breakthrough-over-32645109?utm_source=app
     
    #53154
  15. saintrichie123

    saintrichie123 Well-Known Member

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  16. StJabbo1

    StJabbo1 Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #53156
  17. saintrichie123

    saintrichie123 Well-Known Member

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    4 men sit anxiously outside the maternity unit ...
    ... as they await news on their wives' who are having babies
    The English one says, "My first son was born on St George's Day, so I named him George."
    The Scotsman added, "My first son was born on St Andrew's Day, and I decided to name him Andrew."
    The Welshman said, "My boy was born on St David's Day, and I just had to call him David!"
    The Irishman spoke up, "Ah, sure,it was justthe same with our Pancake!"
     
    #53157
  18. thereisonlyoneno7

    thereisonlyoneno7 Well-Known Member

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    A man walks into the Election office in London and says to the Receptionist: "I would like to put my name forward for the forthcoming elections to be an independent candidate".

    Receptionist: "Certainly sir, no problem. Please fill in this Form".

    He was filling the Form until he came to the question: ''Are you circumcised?"

    So he asked the Receptionist: "Is that question necessary?"

    Receptionist:
    "If you are circumcised you are not eligible".

    He asked what difference it would make if he was circumcised?

    Receptionist: "To become a genuine politician, you have to be a complete dick".
     
    #53158
  19. It'sOnlyAGame

    It'sOnlyAGame Well-Known Member

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    One of our neighbours is a right nosey cow.


    IMG_20240425_123040272_HDR.jpg
     
    #53159
  20. San Tejón

    San Tejón Well-Known Member

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    This map, showing the locations where mobile speed cameras have the most success, was posted on Facebook by the Guardia Civil. They did include a warning not to tell anyone as “it’s a secret”. <laugh><laugh>
    They also stress that it is wrong to speed.
    There’s also a link in the post so you can see exactly what roads are referred to in this map.

    upload_2024-4-26_22-4-3.png
     
    #53160

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