Watford. Southampton. FA Cup action. Passes. Shots. A linesman waves his flag! A save. A block. Somebody should score but misses. A goal! A whistle. A chant about a library. A chant about a rival with nothing to do with this game. Someone eats a pie. Someone drinks a Bovril. A child cries. An adult swears. A Londoner in a flatcap acts hard. People wearing replica football shirts in their 50s. The woman in the seat two over is attractive. The man on your other side takes up half your space. Someone starts a "stand-up!" chant and all you want to do is curl up under a blanket.
Half time. Too many people. The fight for a pee. The desperate dance of the bladder. You queue for a drink but never get one.
The second half starts as you fight your way up to your seat. A goal! You had your back turned. Moment of the match. Wait! A flag. Disallowed. Grumbling around you. That kid is still crying. The attractive woman has not come back. The fat guy is almost entirely in your seat. Last night's hangover is kicking in. Passes. Passes. Passes. Almost a mistake at the back. Passes. Passes. Passes. Almost a goal! Someone near you is moaning about Bazunu. Passes. Passes. Passes. More Passes. A tackle! A player on the floor rolling around, peeking at the ref like a child playing hide and seek.
Final whistle. Everyone goes home. Somebody or nobody won.
My prediction: 0-1 Saints.
Half time. Too many people. The fight for a pee. The desperate dance of the bladder. You queue for a drink but never get one.
The second half starts as you fight your way up to your seat. A goal! You had your back turned. Moment of the match. Wait! A flag. Disallowed. Grumbling around you. That kid is still crying. The attractive woman has not come back. The fat guy is almost entirely in your seat. Last night's hangover is kicking in. Passes. Passes. Passes. Almost a mistake at the back. Passes. Passes. Passes. Almost a goal! Someone near you is moaning about Bazunu. Passes. Passes. Passes. More Passes. A tackle! A player on the floor rolling around, peeking at the ref like a child playing hide and seek.
Final whistle. Everyone goes home. Somebody or nobody won.
My prediction: 0-1 Saints.