My mum was a spiritualist and my dad a methodist. There are not many of us methylated spirits around.
A scouser goes on the Antiques Road Show with a very expensive and rare porcelain vase. The expert examines it and praises the quality of the item. "Tell me, young man, how did you come by this exceptional piece?" "I t was handed down to me". "From where, may I ask?" "From an upstairs window."
The post office where considering putting rishi sunak on a stamp but after a trial run they shelved the idea when it was revealed people where spitting on the wrong side