The time has come.

It was always going to happen and it seems that that time is imminent.

It seems the man with tree trunks as forearms that is @Smug in Boots has caught up with me again. Because of these unfortunate events, for my own safety, I shall be moving to Majorca early in the new year.

 

??

 

Que?

 

What are you wittering on about, buddy?

 

Moving to Majorca early in the new year because my missus got a job there

 

A blow job

 

*Mallorca

 

^^^^ Spic ****tah

 

Never been,Ibiza and Alacante was the nearest I got,hope all goes well for you and family.

ps what are their buses like?

 

I haven't been to Majorca for about 29 years

 

Where you in a pram the last time?

 

Back of a cop car he told me.

 

One of the very few places abroad I have been, the others being Wales and The North.

 

Yes, hence I said 29 years, it is actually about 31 years since I have been there, but if I said that then some people wouldn't believe me that I am in my late 20s.

 

Someone told me Welsh burds are durty and always up for a ride. Dunno if it's true or not.

 

Need to go for a night out in Cardiff or Swansea, knowing my luck I'd probably get beaten up by someone who didn't like my accent.

 

I don't like your accent.

 

Glasgow's another place I'm scared to go on a night out. Been out in Edinburgh but that's full of ****s and students.

 

Glasgow is fine. Glaswegians tend to welcome foreigners. It's each other they can't stand (huns vs tims).

Edinburgh is ****erville.

Don't go to Aberdeen, horrible place and ER lives there.

Don't go to Campbelltown, it's full of inbred horrors.