Tips / Bets The Queen is dead

Mate ... no way I'm turning up there ... the Royals don't like me ... not since that night I had with Diana in the Premier Inn on the A41 ... just before she met Dodi ...

 

I had visions of Fosse queuing and his battery dying on his phone.

 

You had to go there didn't you.

Ffs

 

Mate ... not going to let my public down ... got to play the part ... it's expected

 

While Charles and Diana were courting Charles had to ask the virginity question, feeling rather award about it he asked her if she had seen or touched a mans penis
No replied Diana I am sure I never have
On the wedding night Charles went to the bathroon to freshen up and walked in the the bedroom wearing his royal dressing gown
Smiling at Diana he opened the dressing gown and said Well my darling this is ones royal penis
Gosh yes said Diana its just like a Fosse but so much bigger

 

more importantly

Salzburg have equalised

1-1

 

****

 

...

... actually mate, she said "give me 9" and hurt me" ... so I ****ed her 3 times then twisted her nips

 

Ok Sucky

 

For the avoidance of doubt and to reassure the naive and the odd dummy ... I DID NOT shag the late Lady Diana Spenser in a Premier Inn on the A41....















... it was a TravelLodge in Blackpool coz she wanted to ride on the Pepsi Max Big One

 

k

 

PM me, you can sleep in my shed. Reasonable rates

 

In London today ... travel there has been chaotic by all accounts, so not looking forward to it.

 

Attention ignorant peasants

Today your Queen will lie in state as millions of her subjects pass by and pay their respects

Lower your gaze when I talk

arseholes

 

What a load of bollox

 

True story Abe

Fosse hasn’t had a day off work ever

 

Oh yeah me bad.....

 

Anything in the shed worth more than the cost of admission? Asking for a mate.

 

No it's true ... really wasn't looking forward to it