Headline : Singer Marti Pellow diagnosed with arthritis He told reporters " I feel it in my fingers , I feel it in my toes "
Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood Blockbuster: The Great Composers! "I wanna be Beethoven," said Stallone. "I gotta be Mozart," replied Willis "What about you, Arnie?" they asked............"I'll be Bach !"
went to fish restaurant recently and ordered the Octopus. The waiter said: "It takes 4 hours to cook." I said: "Why?" He said: "Because it keeps turning the gas off."
Bad day today, I failed my driving test on the Highway Code. The Instructor said to me, “If you are going down a country road what signs are you likely to see?" I said, “Eggs for sale, pick your own strawberries and free manure”.
To encourage me to eat when i was young my mother would put food on a spoon and say "here comes the train, here comes the train". It always worked because she wouldn't untie me from the track until i'd eaten it!
“Doctor, I woke up this morning with this big lump on my left side.” Doctor:“Does your wife know you feel this way about her?”
I called the coastguard told them I had fallen out of my boat into the ocean. They said "Can you be more Pacific"
I called the coastguard told them I had fallen out of my boat into the ocean. They said "Can you be more Pacific"
Bad day today, I failed my driving test on the Highway Code. The Instructor said to me,if you are going up a very steep hill what gear would you be in,I said open neck shirt, slacks, and a light weight jacket
