With Halloween coming up I went to a fancy dress shop to buy a Dracula costume. The girl behind the counter offered me a Portsmouth shirt. I said sorry love I think you misheard me. I said I wanted to look like a count.
You know, that is spooky! I had a very similar experience when I went into a fancy dress shop and asked if they had a clown's outfit!
Got this from a Pompey friend of mine..... A little old lady was walking past Fratton Park with a load of shopping - the Pompey chairman spots her and shouts out 'can you manage love?' to which she replied 'F**k Off! I don't want the job'!!
A Pompey fan walks into a pub with his dog just as the football results are being read out on the TV. As the announcer reads out that Portsmouth have lost 3-0 the dog immediately lies down on the floor, rolls on its back and sticks its paws in the air. The landlord says "Blimey, that's amazing mate, what does he do when they win?" The Pompey fan thinks for a moment and replies "Dunno, I've only had him for eight months!"
Two Aborigines in the outback. One says to the other I see Pompey lost? His mate said how do you know? He replied It's Saturday.
I was walking past Fratton Park the other day and noticed 6 Portsmouth season tickets nailed to a tree, each with a six-inch nail. I thought, "Blimey, I'll have those! You can never have too many six-inch nails!"
THE LORDS PRAYER - THE PORTSMOUTH EDITION Our Father who art in prison, Even Mum knows not his name, Thy chavdom come, You'll read The Sun, In Exmouth which is in Devon, Give us this day our Welfare bread and forgive us our ASBO's, As we happy slap those who got ASBO's against us, Lead us not into employment but deliver us free housing, For thine is the Chavdom, The Burberry and the Bacardi, Forever and ever... ...Innit!
what also make's me laugh is the picture the daily echo always use for storys on p**pey. Showing the same old lady on a scooter who hasn't moved for years.
