Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing. George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house... walked home... and left it there all night........
I saw a sign on a friends door which read : "Beware of the budgie" I said: `That won't scare off anybody " " Oh, yes it will, " he said." It whistles for the rottweiler "
Someone asked me, "and now that you are retired, do you still have a job?" I replied, "Yes I am my wife's sexual adviser." "Somewhat shocked, they said "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that?" "Very simple. The wife has told me that when she wants my ****ing advice, she'll ask me. for i t."
Bloke in the pub plays in a tribute band called oc/dc.....after gigs they go back and tidy the hotel room
Two old ladies sat on a bench on Brighton Sea Front A naked jogger ran up to them As he passed the first one she had a stroke The second one sadly couldn't reach him
bought some viagra from an online chemist....had no effect whatsoever, upon checking the label it had gone past it's swell by date
