Couple on first night of their honeymoon. The groom comes down the stairs at 5 in the morning, carrying his fishing gear. The night porter, stops him and says, I hope you don't mind me saying sir, but first night of your honeymoon I wasn't expecting to see you with fishing gear, if you know what I mean. Oh no, we won't ne doing that, she has a real bad dose of the clap. Well sir, isn't anal all the rage these days. God no, she has terrible diarrhea. Well how about a blow job. No, she has herpes of the mouth. Well that just leaves a hand job sir. No not that either, she has real bad dermatitis and it's highly contagious. So then sir, can I ask why you married her. Yes......the maggots