I went into a bar in Spain & there was a huge bulls head on the wall. I said: "That must have been a big bull?" The barman said: "That bull killed my grandfather" I said: "Was he a bullfighter?" He said: "No. He was playing draughts over there and it fell on him!".
2 Irish men on an old air base have been told to measure the height of a flag pole, while they are scratching there chins, an English man walks by and asks if he can help . The Irish men ask him how he would measure it . He goes away brings back a spanner and unbolts the pole. Lays it down and measures it. The Irish men burst out laughing and say .You daft sod , we need the height not the length .