There seem to be a lot of us that are quite happy to explicitly say that we have personal experience. Like Charlie Dog, I accepted anti-depressants from the GP years ago, came off, too quickly, and nosedived again. Now I just embrace the fact that they alter a chemical imbalance for me and it’s a victimless crime to see them like a morning cuppa. So, if you feel that your thoughts are getting ****ed up by the anxiety and low mood then, my personal view would be so NOT feel embarrassed to tell your GP and ask for some assistance to get you through the temporary blip. Don’t risk it lengthening out, the longer the illness remains untreated the less likely you are to want to tackle it because you can lose rational decision making capacity - so grab it by the scruff of the neck now; you’ve already done a great thing by posting to friends here. Drugs and or talking-therapies may be made available - my view is that talking therapy (alongside drugs) is best for the deep-seated/upbringing related illnesses; and drugs for the less historical issues. Personally I found talking therapy with a counsellor pointless for me, I wanted a medication to blunt the mood, not a discussion on why a woman would leave such a wonderful man ;0)
Drugs worked. For me. Not for everyone.
My depressions have always been caused by events rather than a natural cycle - so my divorce (it was being ripped away from the kids rather than losing the wife! (She walked)), the loss of a love (who is now, of course, just a distant memory!), being bullied by a chief executive where I worked.... events. Temporary events. Things change and events become the past; but when you are in it, you are ‘in it’ and concepts like “it won’t be like this forever” are alien, no matter how true it is. Some things of course are very difficult to escape from - extreme debt can cause mental ill health, & catastrophic events like family bereavements impact on people in different ways. Nonetheless, a common feature of external-event-driven mental ill health is absence of control, a sense of powerlessness. So we need to look for ways for you to find control..... I saw the suggestion that making an internal decision to look for another job might help - I agree, that would be a reminder to yourself that this is situational and that changing that situation would make a difference. But you could also look for ways of getting your employer to sit up and take notice - but without knowing what kind of organisation you’ve work for, how long you’ve been there, what the day job is etc etc it is difficult to expand on that suggestion.
You are not alone. I suspect all of us here sharing are functioning compassionate human beings (exception of Cap’n Wrong is just proving the general rule) holding down jobs and relationships and I’d say ten times more agreeable as people than 80% of the population in the UK. We’re not nutters, we’re not weak. And the insight and empathy you gain from the suffering will make you an even better and stronger person.
Keep talking. Eat. Breathe. Exercise. Rest.
