anyone got any? i'll start a boy with one arm has learnt how to golf. i wonder what his handicap is. oh yeah, he's only got one arm tricking a fat person into eating something is easy. it's a piece of cake. a man lost his left arm in the war. but he's all right now. anymore?
did you hear about the liverpool striker who scored loads of goals in dec/jan? its called a christmas CARROLL
i remember last winter i needed money, so i got my shovel and started getting paid to dig up the snow. it was during this stint, i was horrified to realised that on my first day i uncovered the bodies of 1000 dead snowmen. fortunately, it turned out to be a field full of carrots not really a pun, but funny none the less
A man walks into a bar. He says "ow". Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and says "can you smell fish?" A piece of string walks into a bar. The barman says "Are you a piece of string, cos if so I can't serve you." The string replied "No, I'm a frayed knot" Thank you and goodnight...
im afraid not. (reference to your previous string joke) im sure when you tell me i'll kick myself in the head.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! i get it now. it took a few minutes of small talk and a wikipedia link, but i eventually got it.
skeleton walks into the pub and sits down at the bar waiting to be served. young couple walk in and served straight away another couple walk in and again served straight away skeleton still at bar and not been served 20 minutes later at least 20 people have walked in and they have all been served but the skeleton is still waiting 1 hour later the bar is full and they have all been served the skeleton calls over the bar maid and says "i have been here for about 2 hours and you have served everybody apart from me" the bar maid replys "o sorry sir i thought you already had a skull (skool larger} hmm sorry.