1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic The dying Swan ~ Joke thread

Discussion in 'Cardiff City' started by DaiJones, Sep 18, 2018.

  1. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2011
    Messages:
    9,036
    Likes Received:
    4,331
  2. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2011
    Messages:
    9,036
    Likes Received:
    4,331
    I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail.
    I looked round and this bloke shouted, "That's just for starters!"
     
    #882
  3. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2011
    Messages:
    9,036
    Likes Received:
    4,331
    I joined a dating site for pyromaniacs
    Got a match straight away.....
     
    #883
    clingo likes this.
  4. clingo

    clingo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2011
    Messages:
    8,116
    Likes Received:
    9,105
    Dai. You're a bright spark that never fails to light up this forum. Just be careful (or not) with the Swan Vestas.
     
    #884
    DaiJones and BluefromBridgend like this.
  5. ccfcremotesupport

    ccfcremotesupport Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2011
    Messages:
    12,359
    Likes Received:
    7,993
    Read that as the swans vespa. <doh>
     
    #885
    DaiJones and clingo like this.
  6. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2011
    Messages:
    9,036
    Likes Received:
    4,331
    I joined 2 Clingo, the first one was full of old flames.









    I'll get my coat.
     
    #886
    clingo likes this.
  7. clingo

    clingo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2011
    Messages:
    8,116
    Likes Received:
    9,105
    I think it's all Lambrettas down there mate.
     
    #887
    ccfcremotesupport likes this.
  8. clingo

    clingo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2011
    Messages:
    8,116
    Likes Received:
    9,105
    Dai, you gotta do what you gotta do in order to douse your burning desires.

    Can you get my coat while you're there?
     
    #888
    DaiJones likes this.
  9. BluefromBridgend

    BluefromBridgend Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    18,124
    Likes Received:
    8,900
    Masky sold it. <whistle>
     
    #889
    DaiJones and clingo like this.
  10. clingo

    clingo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2011
    Messages:
    8,116
    Likes Received:
    9,105
    What a git he is. That coat was made out of a couple of remote's sheep.
     
    #890

  11. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2011
    Messages:
    9,036
    Likes Received:
    4,331
    Fair play boys the jokes might be crap but the banter is 1st class.
     
    #891
  12. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2011
    Messages:
    9,036
    Likes Received:
    4,331
    Neighbour knocked on the wall at 4.20 am. Lucky I was up playing music.

    He shouted, 'Can I have a little respect please?'

    I'm not an Aretha Franklin fan, but said 'Ok'
     
    #892
  13. clingo

    clingo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2011
    Messages:
    8,116
    Likes Received:
    9,105
    Not an Aretha fan???????!!!!!!!!!!! <yikes> Did you Think about it?
    Anyway, Otis did a brilliant version too. And Oldsparkey is good on backing vocals with "Socket to me, socket to me"
    Hope you're doing ok Dai. <ok>
     
    #893
  14. Oldsparkey

    Oldsparkey Well-Known Member
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    25,742
    Likes Received:
    12,681
    I was also in the Electric Light Orchestra.
     
    #894
    clingo likes this.
  15. BrizzleBluebird

    BrizzleBluebird Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2011
    Messages:
    3,213
    Likes Received:
    5,234
    As well as AC/DC I assume?

    You'd certainly have a good grounding if so.
     
    #895
    clingo likes this.
  16. Oldsparkey

    Oldsparkey Well-Known Member
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    25,742
    Likes Received:
    12,681
    No, I'm more down to earth than that.
     
    #896
    clingo likes this.
  17. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2011
    Messages:
    9,036
    Likes Received:
    4,331
    Well "Just a little bit"
     
    #897
    clingo likes this.
  18. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2011
    Messages:
    9,036
    Likes Received:
    4,331
    Thanks for asking.

    The misses said I'm looking better than I've looked for some time.

    Hair is growing back it nearly hides the two holes where the drains were, all I need now is to lose the big heavy screws each side of my neck.

    <cheers>
     
    #898
  19. Oldsparkey

    Oldsparkey Well-Known Member
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    25,742
    Likes Received:
    12,681
    Dai.......<ok><ok>

    Just remember to use plenty of WD40 and that they're a left hand thread. <ok>
     
    #899
    DaiJones, clingo and BluefromBridgend like this.
  20. BluefromBridgend

    BluefromBridgend Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    18,124
    Likes Received:
    8,900
    Changing bulbs?
     
    #900
    clingo likes this.

Share This Page