Coronavirus

It’s Tuesday mate.

Just in case you’d lost track

 

mate if I give you an address will you post a box of fruit that youve coughed into as many times as possible?

 

Thanks, mate.

I'm going stir crazy in isolation.

 

@Hoddle is a god serious question, have you informed your neighbours that you’ve got the plague? We’ve been instructed to do that on our road if we’re self isolating.

 

If you give him a dress he'll post a video of himself doing the rumba ...

 

Thanks for your concern, Stan.

I know of a few families that have the same symptoms as my brood. We are all looking out for one another, down here, see. Not running around like headless chickens over nothing.

As I say, thanks for your concern, though.

 

Yes, I will do that, but I'll want paying.

 

OK great. Just to be on the safe side I’ve posted your name, address and the fact that you’re infected on Twitter. Stay strong bruv.

 

You are cheapening the integrity of dance as a medium for self expression my friend ... don't be that girl

 

no thanks, but in all seriousness look out because theres some sickys out there using this disease as a weapon against enemies on their patch

 

Think yourself lucky. I’m currently on day 4 of 86....

 

why 86 ? you dont think this is going away I hope ?

 

Then why are they always breaking down in tears, exhibiting huge emotional fragility, and going full Raol Moat?

 

He knows they are, that's how he got Northumbrian in him.

 

he was from birtley not northumbrian at all..

 

I’ve been self isolating since Saturday and I’ve now had my 12 week letter.

 

Everything you've just described there is a classic case of man-flu

 

why are you self isolating mate ?

 

I’m immuno suppressed.

 

Basically a 40 second dig at journalists....what a bell end!
They do deserve a dressing down, but thats not really the time, Donald, during a talk on safety measures! Save your infantile pot shots for your own time, on your twitter feed, you orange ****ing melon