Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

You may get a chain reaction from this post..

 

Anything to make me flush

 

A pretty bog standard pun.

 

Is this turning into a coming out the closet thread?

 

Some bloke walked up to the counter today and said, "Burger and Fries please."

"Certainly sir," I replied. "Are you eating in or taking out?"

"**** off you prick," he snapped, before walking off with his food.

I ****ing love working in the prison canteen

 

Depends which way U bend.

 

Jesus your on a roll now.

 

bog standard replies

 

Are you taking the piss?

 

That would be Ideal Standard, or at least that's what it looks like from my point of view

 

are you talking ****e.........

 

The sailing results are in:
USA took gold,GB took silver and Somalia took a middle aged couple from Weymouth

 

A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “You’re in here a lot. Are you an alcoholic?”
The horse ponders for a minute, then says, “I don’t think I am.” Then Poof! He disappears.
This is where Philosophy students start to snicker, since they are familiar with Descartes’ postulate “I think, therefore I am.”
….I could have told you that first, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

 

A white horse walks into the pub and the barman says we have a whisky named after you, the horse says that’s amazing I will have a double Dobin please

 

A horse walked into a bar in Newcastle ...

... it was an iron bar

 

Just in town and tried to give a few quid to a street collector for an epilepsy charity ...

.... daft bugger wouldn't keep his tin still

 

@Ned Doig

To answer your question mate, the following is typical of one of these big estates.

First thing is a walk round the grounds to see if there's any overnight damage, trees come down, animal intrusions, other disturbance. It also gives you the chance to give a nod to the daily staff/outside contractors/etc arriving so they know they're being clocked.

Then it's a meeting with the security shift who came on at 8am. They'd get a print out of who's working that day as well as anyone visiting for inspections/quotes/meetings together with car registrations. Listen to any grievances, security staff always have some, then on for a quick chat with whichever contractors are on site.

When all that info is gathered it's a coffee and an email to everyone involved in the running of the property from the company solicitor to the finance department. The contractors will moan about overdue accounts, the cleaners about the poor quality of the digestive biscuits.

Then its a tour around the interior, check the indoor pool, radio the handyman for any running repairs or light bulbs the cleaners have reported.

The rest of the day is meetings, phone calls and random stuff like making sure the chauffeur has all the cars fueled, cleaned and replenished with bottles of water, etc. Then it's contacting suppliers, colleagues, et.

4pm is the security changeover, cleaners going and making sure any contractors are aware of when they need to be gone.

Last thing is locking the house, emailing colleagues with 'end of day' stuff and quick look around so I'm seen on the cctv before I knock off

 

Sorry for butting in, this is fascinating. Are you armed at all?

This more aimed at when you were lokkkg after others at various event

I appreciate if you can't or won't comment, also this is Not intelligence gathering for a celebrity hit I'm just genuinely interested

 

please log in to view this image

Smug on his scooter