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Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Garlic Klopp, Jan 13, 2014.

  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    My girlfriend said that she was leaving me because I always exaggerate...
    I was so shocked I almost tripped over my cock!
     
    #3761
  2. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    #3762
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  3. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    I was banging this woman over her kitchen table when we heard the front door , she said “**** it’s my husband quick the back door” .... looking back I should probably have run but you don’t get a offer like that every day
     
    #3763
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  4. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    #3764
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  5. The Ginger Marks

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    Mate of mine was involved in a terrible car pile up on the 21, Five days ago, later when he awoke the doctor recanted what damage he had sustained to his body. hHe said mate you are so lucky to be alive. On further conversation the doctor broke the bad news to min.
     
    #3765
  6. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    I don't get it ... Is the punchline missing or are you stealing Dribs' jokes.


    Or did I miss a pun there. Remember a pun isn't properly mature until it is full groan.
     
    #3766
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  7. Zanjinho

    Zanjinho Boom!
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    In full....

     
    #3767
  8. The Ginger Marks

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    Sorry Milky, fell asleep before the punch line. and I can't remember now. I'II post the rest when I do. <laugh>
     
    #3768
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  9. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    #3769
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  10. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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  11. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    #3771
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  12. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    #3772
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  13. Zanjinho

    Zanjinho Boom!
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    Andy's Mum's coming...?
     
    #3773
  14. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    Several times a night apparently
     
    #3774
  15. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    Just had some friends round with their new born baby ... She handed me the baby and asked if I wanted to wind him , I thought that was a bit harsh ... So I gave him a dead leg instead !
     
    #3775
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  16. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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  17. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    My wife has decided to leave me because of my obsession with football. I am really saddened since we've been together for eight seasons.
     
    #3777
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  18. Zanjinho

    Zanjinho Boom!
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    20190613_222630.jpg
     
    #3778
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  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Police probe Jo Brand. No one should have to probe Jo Brand.
     
    #3779
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  20. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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