Thank you Toby for sharing that detailed list of realpolitik outcomes. I agree with all of the analysis. I am really worried for the future of my grandchildren if we actually leave. The current terms might well be the best on offer. The EU is NOT bullying - it is just adopting the stance that preserves its identity.
I would add one more thing.The peace which Europe has enjoyed since 1945 is due to the willingness of separate nations with separate cultures and identities to work together in ways that are peaceful, meaningful, and are beneficial to most people most of the time. Why we think in the UK we can do better is chutzpah. Or arrogance. Or both. People can point to Greece as an example of EU bullying. However, Greece CHOSE to join the Euro - the cause of their economic difficulties. However painful the medicine, nevertheless the EU committed itself to keeping Greece going, (when all the economic evidence was that they should have been cut adrift). And here's the interesting thing. The Greeks STILL want to be part of the EU. ( An interesting lecture from Vicky Pryce on the subject of her homeland revealed a few surprising things - including that one).
The only explanation I can find for people who actually consider the circumstances and still wish to leave are that they are zealots.Thus no amount of reasoned (or unreasoned) argument will persuade them that white is white. They want to believe white is black, so they do. I have yet to see one analysis that shows how we will be better off IN ANY WAY AT ALL by leaving the EU. Over the rainbow is more credible.
The astonishing thing is that some of them were elected to our Parliament, presumably on the basis that they could be trusted to think and act in our interest. Well that theory has been blown apart by the antics of the last 18 months.
Finally, and this is the one thing that DOES make the UK a special case is The Good Friday Agreement. Once the govt decided it had to stand by it - which is the very least the people of NI deserve - then leaving the EU involved 3 mutually exclusive conditions to be met. We had a lecture the other day from Lord Ricketts, lately HM ambassador to France, and the first National Security Adviser. He destroyed the whole Brexit rationale in 15 seconds! No wonder it's been such a mess. (And, ironically, it's the Conservatives who profess to hold the Union so dear as in their association with Unionists - have committed themselves to this impasse.)
I regret my intended pithy response to the superb article posted by Toby has gone on too long. But it just matters SO MUCH.