Story time

I'm sat at my office bored, so decided to start a story, which the next contributor continuous, then passes it ont the next person and so on. Anyway, lets see where we get on with this. Here goes :-

It was a cold Novembers evening, the rain was beating down hard on the window pain, the wind swirling around was causing destruction and havoc in its path and even though the log fireplace in the background was roaring with fury, there was a distinct chill in the air. Suddenly the phone rang.....

to be continued

 

on the phone was your boss who said get back to ****ing work you lazy ****

 

i told my boss to go **** himself, which didnt go down well seeing as though he was a hermaphrodite, and couldliterally go **** himself if he wanted to!!!

i hung up and went in the kitchen...

 

... picked up the phone and ordered a pizza ...

 

After remembering that i'm not a woman, I quickly left the kitchen.

 

unfortunately I was unable to avoid the rolling pin that hit me on the back of the head...

 

back in the living room the phone rang again...

 

And the story ends there!

 

....at which point I did a double take and realised the workplace kitchen wasn't really big enough for a log fire...still, thought could put it to good use and make my own pizza out of used dot matrix printouts...

 

Masterpiece, get this published and share the spoils.

 

...Milan Mandaric was on the other end telling me he's suing me for calling him a **** ater the 6-1 defeat to Portsmouth last season...

 

Little did he know I was actually one of the lead investigators for HMRC on his tax evasion case...I never could bring charges against the **** because...

 

In my panic i tried to pass the blame onto popular singer songwriter Shaggy...who blew my defence out of the water when he sang 'It wasnt Me'. I would need to go back to the drawing board i thought.....

 

realising i dont own a drawing board...i went to the dart board instead...

 

where I posted a picture of my boss on the dart board....

 

the picture was of him naked, eating a donner kebab on my grand piano..

 

at which point my boss walked in..............

 

Before throwing my first dart i had a moment of clarity. "Why the **** dont i own a drawing board, anyone who is anyone owns a drawing board" i thought to myself....i vowed to change my ways from that day forth, for myyself and also to save my job, and the first thing i decided to change was...

 

I stared at it thinking 'wow' then my wife burst in on me....

 

... naked ...