Harry Kane ...only with us for a short while ... but utter ****e ... will never make a footballer ... plus he's uglier than Spurlock's arse (and that's not a HIAG reference, for the avoidance of doubt )
Dani was our record signing at the time I believe? Absolute fruit and nutcase, & money flushed down the pan BUT worth it all for that goal vs Man City.
I still kind of like him as weird as it sounds... Didn't he get in **** when back at boca for lighting a cigar in the changing Room? Reckon he'd be good to have a pint with.
He is sort of likeable, in a "wtf...he really did that?" kind of way. Plus chinning Fonte in training doesn't sound so unforgiveable now.
You got hold of a goal machine for £50m (7 years ago!) and he was total **** in blue...remember THAT miss v United? So in all honesty mate... Fuuuuuuuuccccckkkkk you!
Paulinio Look up his miss v Burnley in 2015. Then look at the spurs fans faces behind the goal. Schevchenko?
That United keeper who who was signed to replace Schmichael ... let a terrible goal in v Southampton...think he only play 3 games.
We at Chelsea seem to have had a curse with strikers during the PL era. So many duds, lets see if I can name them, the strikers who have been mediocre, long term injured or just downright ****e..... Chris Sutton - £10m, which was a fortune in 1999, PL Golden boot winner, one half the famed SAS (Sutton and Shearer) at Blackburn during their title winning season in 1994-95. Total dog **** for us, 1 league goal (which was in a 5-0 trouncing of United's treble winners) in 28 games. Needless to say, he was in a suit at Wembley during that seasons FA Cup final. What a ****ing waste. It was purchases like that during the Bates era that nearly brought the club to its knees. please log in to view this image Pierluigi Casiraghi - £5.4m in 1998, Which, again, wasn't small change in the 90's. Made 10 apps, scoring 1 goal, then Shaka Hislop decided to spear him Roman Reigns style and ****ed his cruciate ligament and he was forced to retire, £5.4m for 10 games and 1 goal please log in to view this image Mateja Kezman - £5.3m in 2004, Kezman seemed like a bargain. He had scored 105 goals in 122 apps at PSV and had formed a deadly partnership with Arjen Robben, so when we signed both of them, naturally Chelsea fans were thrilled. But whilst Robben lit up the PL with his lightning pace and deadly runs, Kezman.....well Kezman was pretty **** actually. 4 goals in 25 apps in his first season. At least we sold him for exactly what we paid for him though please log in to view this image please log in to view this image Adrian Mutu - £15m in 2003, one of the first signings of the Roman era, Mutu scored 4 goals in his first 3 games, so things looked rosy. However, then he and Jose Mourinho fell out when Mutu accused Mourinho of lying to the Romanian FA and saying Mutu was injured to prevent him getting a call up (or something along those lines). Then Mutu decided he'd rather be Tony Montana and tested positive for Coccaine, only 12 months after we signed him. He was subsequently sacked and forced to pay CFC compensation, of which he still owes us about £20m, after the CAS quashed his appeal. please log in to view this image Herman Crespo - Bought at the same time as Mutu in 2003 for just under £17m, Crespo came to the PL with the big reputation, and a lot of expectation, having set Serie A on fire at Parma and Lazio. Whilst he fared well in the goal scoring stakes, he never settled in the UK and became homesick for Italy, and was loaned to AC Milan after just one season with us having scored 10 goals in 19 apps for Chelsea. The season after that he came back to Chelsea after a permanent move to AC fell through, but you could see his heart was in Italy and not England and despite a modest 10 goals in 30 apps, Chelsea decided to cash in and sell him to Internazionale. please log in to view this image Fernando Torres - A £50m purchase in January 2011, Torres had been magnificent early in his PL career with Liverpool, but he had been sustaining a couple of injuries late on in his time at Liverpool and people were wondering whether he had peaked and was on a downward trajectory. Fear not Liverpool fans! For here comes Roman Abramovich with £50m, to not only solve the problem, but to give you a heap of cash (which you would then go on to spend half of it on one of the best strikers in living memory). So Torres arrives at Chelsea. The rest is history, 20 goals in 110 apps is a shocking return for £50m, but no one was willing to take on a mediocre crock on those wages, so we were stuck with him leading our line for 4 ****ing seasons. Despite a couple of important goals here or there.....you cannot argue that for £50m, you expect something more. please log in to view this image And these are just the strikers.......
He was ****e at Chelsea but to call Torres a flop is not right. For us he was brilliant, one of the best out there at the time, scoring 65 in 102 league games.
Crespo was good. We have a tradition of signing poor strikers going back to Alan Mayes, Kevin Wilson and Robert Fleck
Crespo and Schev - among the best strikers of the past 20 years. Uncanny how often players go to Chelsea and are never seen again.
I had completely forgot about Sheva, probably by choice! Only seems to be strikers we have problems with, always strikers. The good ones (Hasselbaink, Gudjohnsen, Drogba, Costa) are few and far between. And we even managed to **** up Costa (dont care what anyone says, Conte was just as much to blame as Costa in all that ****). Hopefully Morata will earn a place on the good list, seems promising so far.
