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Rangers v Celtic

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Ciaran, Sep 5, 2016.

Page 949 of 11121
  1. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    The Clumpany
    Celtic Fans: The Worst In The World
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    theclumpany
    7 hours ago
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    Good Evening.

    Here is some news.

    >>>>>>

    Experts cast doubt on value of Celtic’s ‘Best Fans’ award.

    By U.R. Pish-Talking

    Celtic’s so-called ‘success’ in the ‘Best Fans’ category of the Best FIFA Football Awards2017 has been trashed by top experts in the field of expertise.

    The full-stadium display – a 50th Anniversary tribute to the misnamed ‘Lisbon Lions’, who were once exposed by DNA scientists as not actually being big cats – was applauded at the time of its unveiling by Celtic fans.

    A Professor of Crowd Stuff who asked not to be identified by our attempted newspaper was damning when asked a hilariously leading question. “Self-praise is no praise!” he exclaimed.

    “Where were the busloads of art critics to offer a genuine critical analysis of the tribute?”

    A fellow academic was also quick to put the boot in.

    A highly-respected Doctor of Environmental Things pointed out the massive carbon footprint of all the fans travelling to the stadium, and suggested it could add as much as a completely hypothetical amount to global temperatures before the day is out. Shockingly, he also said a few random things about “clearing up the rubbish afterwards, landfill, and blocked shipping lanes.”

    The Chief Harrumphing About Drinking Officer for Scotland also had their say. “People would probably have had a drink before and after the match where that display was shown.” he said.

    “FIFA are sending out a terrible signal by giving this award to Celtic fans who drink. Why not give the award to a fan base that never touches booze, instead?”

    A top European expert in Arm-Related Bullshit Punditry added her voice to the criticism of the award-winning Lisbon Lions display. “Have you any idea how much damage people will have done to their arms when lifting up their card?

    “I don’t. But I’m not going to let that stop me from saying that it was utterly reckless in the expectation that you will print it! Shame on the organisers for risking people’s joints and muscles like that.”

    Finally, just as this piece was about to go to press we received an unprecedented phone call from the Global Head of Petitions and Moon-howling at the United Nations who was in a high state of alarm.

    “I can’tbelieve that FIFA have been so stupid as to give this award to Celtic fans” she said.

    “It’s an absolute outrage. Have they anyidea about the extent of the seethe that is going to ensue? Have they the first clue about the tsunami of snide comments from media pundits and English football fans with amazingly-talented nans that is going to be unleashed?”, she continued.

    “It could sweep humanity away. We could all drown in a sea of Sevconian tears. Mark my words, Celtic fans winning this award is a very bad thing.”

    “A very VERY bad thing indeed.”

    >>>>>>

    And if you think that’s ridiculous, you may like to take a look at this:

    Celtic win FIFA fans award for Lisbon Lions display before ‘unsafe’ flares controversy in match against Hearts

    #KeepOnClumping

    NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun...

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    Categories: Celtic, Media, Satire
    Tags: Celtic, FIFA, Satire
    The Clumpany
    Blog at WordPress.com.

    Back to top
     
    #18961
    Mind The Duck, Oct 24, 2017
    DevAdvocate and Void like this.
  2. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

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    Doesn't come close to a Red Arrows fly- past on armed forces day imho.
     
    #18962
    rogueleader, Oct 24, 2017
    Rustie bugmuncher and Mind The Duck like this.
  3. The Anilingus Aficionado

    The Anilingus Aficionado Official POTY 2011, 2014, 2015, 2018 & 2023

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    #18963
    The Anilingus Aficionado, Oct 24, 2017
    The Shrimp likes this.
  4. The Anilingus Aficionado

    The Anilingus Aficionado Official POTY 2011, 2014, 2015, 2018 & 2023

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    FIFA name Harvey Weinstein as Women's football ambassador and name PSG winner of the Financial Fair Play award.
     
    #18964
    The Anilingus Aficionado, Oct 24, 2017
    The Shrimp, Void, Gambol and 2 others like this.
  5. Strange Nipples ST

    Strange Nipples ST Well-Known Member

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    I love the smell of beel in the morning.
     
    #18965
    Strange Nipples ST, Oct 24, 2017
    DevAdvocate, The Anilingus Aficionado, Rustie bugmuncher and 3 others like this.
  6. Patience

    Patience Spastic Arab

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    I love the taste of beel in the morning.

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    #18966
    Patience, Oct 24, 2017
    The Shrimp, Strange Nipples ST, The Anilingus Aficionado and 2 others like this.

  7. Patience

    Patience Spastic Arab

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    Huns almost won it too.

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    #18967
    Patience, Oct 24, 2017
    The Shrimp, DevAdvocate, Strange Nipples ST and 3 others like this.
  8. Toley Fart

    Toley Fart not606's best fighter

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    Legia Warsaw should have won in imho
     
    #18968
    Toley Fart, Oct 24, 2017
    The Shrimp likes this.
  9. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    #18969
    Mind The Duck, Oct 24, 2017
    Patience likes this.
  10. Toley Fart

    Toley Fart not606's best fighter

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    :bandit:
     
    #18970
    Toley Fart, Oct 24, 2017
    The Shrimp likes this.
  11. Tina.

    Tina. Well-Known Member

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    ^^shat himself^^
     
    #18971
    Tina., Oct 24, 2017
  12. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Sofa, so good.
     
    #18972
    Gambol, Oct 24, 2017
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  13. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    <applause> The GB
     
    #18973
    Mind The Duck, Oct 24, 2017
  14. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    It does seem as if some don't like this at all.
     
    #18974
    DevAdvocate, Oct 24, 2017
    Void, Mind The Duck, Mick O'Toon and 1 other person like this.
  15. Patience

    Patience Spastic Arab

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    It would transpire that they do not like it one bit, Dev.
     
    #18975
    Patience, Oct 24, 2017
    The Shrimp, Mind The Duck, Mick O'Toon and 1 other person like this.
  16. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    I would have thought our countryfellows would have been delighted that Celtic fans have received this accolade, a bit shocked they seem to be unenthused. <confused>
     
    #18976
    DevAdvocate, Oct 24, 2017
  17. Toley Fart

    Toley Fart not606's best fighter

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    Don't know how I'll recover from this.
     
    #18977
    Toley Fart, Oct 24, 2017
    The Shrimp likes this.
  18. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    All "TGFITW" merchandise to be binned and replaced with "Officially TGFITW"
     
    #18978
    Mind The Duck, Oct 24, 2017
    Patience, Void and DevAdvocate like this.
  19. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    I'm sure you will, Monny on t'other hand...
     
    #18979
    DevAdvocate, Oct 24, 2017
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  20. A.L.D.O 4.1

    A.L.D.O 4.1 1 of the top defendants in Europe

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    #18980
    A.L.D.O 4.1, Oct 24, 2017
    Void likes this.
Page 949 of 11121
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