With all of the talk about the on field matters, I feel that we are ignoring the sterling work of a man that deserves our gratitude and our thanks. I'm speaking of course of that secret Sunderland fan Mr. Mike Ashley. I think it's time that, we the Sunderland fans give the great man the praise that he is denied by the ungrateful Newcastle fans. It must be so tough to venture into enemy territory every day and work undercover in his glorious self appointed mission. So Iâve taken it upon myself to start this thread in the hope that when he sees the high esteem that we hold him in, he will continue in his brave crusade to turn the mags into the laughing stock of the footballing world as they self destruct into a team that consists of youth team players, one legged Frenchmen and championship standard forwards. I donât think any of us will begrudge him making a few quid as he single handedly dismantles a solid hardworking team, and the cries of despair from the Newcastle fans are like the finest symphony ever created by man to the ears of the number one team in the north east. I am constantly amazed by his ingenuity and resourcefulness at what could only be described as a thankless task. If you look at how he destroys the hopes of the fans by pretending to bid for a player that gives the fans an erection just debating about his football prowess and how he would destroy the premier league just by his presence on the pitch, then crushes their souls by offering the player £10 a week, which he knows they will refuse, masterful, Mike simply brilliant in its simplicity. As he reads the mag fans forums he must raise a silent toast to himself at a job well done. To sum up, he is a great man and I unashamedly say, thank you Mike, thank you. If it were possible, I would want to be like you (only not as fat or ugly) Ladies and gentlemen, I give you (sir) Mike Ashley. The man of the moment and if I may be so bold a small statue of him, mightnât go amiss?
I've got a few things that I want to put on here, but I better wait until after tomorrow just in case...
Newcastle United fans, angry at the way that Mike Ashley is turning THEIR club into the laughing stock of the football world, have held an emergency meeting of the Toon Army, and have declared war on club owner Mike Ashley. The Army, which is 400,000 strong, has been mobilised, and, as its initial 'shot across the bows', has decided to boycott the Magpies' next home game. Should that fail to oust the fat owner, it's been proposed that the entire Toon army will wear normal everyday clothes rather than the United team shirts with which they usually adorn themselves like Christmas Trees. Regular bare-chesters have vowed to cease the ancient practice. Newcastle fans are amongst the most loyal, fervent and passionate fans in the whole of the footballing world, and certainly the drunkest, and Ashley would be wise to listen to their views if he wishes to be allowed to continue to own the club. 'Biffa' Milburn, great-great-grandson of Newcastle legend Jackie Milburn, said: "Why, ahl ev'n givupme beer, man, a'zlong as that fat bastard buggers off!" Meanwhile Mr Ashley, who some consider to be on the payroll of Ellis Short, the Sunderland chairman, seems to be taking it all in his stride, as he was last seen adorning a red and white Sunderland shirt, while making his way to the Newcastle casino, waving wads of £50 notes in the air with one hand,, and a bag full of Greggs pasties in the other.
There's only one Mike Ashley There's only one Mike Ashley One Mike Ashley There's only one Mike Ashley He's Fat. He's Round. He's taking the mags down. Ashley. Ashley.
Oh nina, you need to find it somewhere to thank sir Mike for everything he has done for your club. Such ingratitude is unbecoming and I'm sure your parents must have taught you better.
