Off Topic I'm Scared.

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dennisboothstash said:
The big question

Will BAAG ever be the same again?
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Just thinking that DBT, perhaps we should raise a welfare alert for one of our own, BAAG. The last we heard from him was that Mrs BAAG was preparing him a relaxing bath, & black latex before 50 Shades of Grey! Is he still there, hand cuffed and chained up, down, back to front or whatever? Where will we get our training ground updates from? We have our priorities!

[HASHTAG]#oneofourown[/HASHTAG] [HASHTAG]#BAAG[/HASHTAG]
 
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Howden Tigress said:
Just thinking that DBT, perhaps we should raise a welfare alert for one of our own, BAAG. The last we heard from him was that Mrs BAAG was preparing him a relaxing bath, & black latex before 50 Shades of Grey! Is he still there, hand cuffed and chained up, down, back to front or whatever? Where will we get our training ground updates from? We have our priorities!

[HASHTAG]#oneofourown[/HASHTAG] [HASHTAG]#BAAG[/HASHTAG]
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Well...you never know...
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on the other hand...

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Last edited:
I'm safe and well everyone!

She got me trussed up like an oven ready chicken ready for action then fell asleep. I am currently handcuffed to a commode wearing my ankles as earrings. Anyone with any cutting gear available to nip round and release me?

Everyones gone to work including the kids who commented that I should know better than to get involved in "those types of **** at my age".

BTW I'm typing this with the only thing that's not strapped down.:emoticon-0104-surpr

Oh, and the dogs keep smiling at me...Must be the 1 Cal spray.
 
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BlackAndAmberGambler said:
I'm safe and well everyone!

She got me trussed up like an oven ready chicken ready for action then fell asleep. I am currently handcuffed to a commode wearing my ankles as earrings. Anyone with any cutting gear available to nip round and release me?

Everyones gone to work including the kids who commented that I should know better than to get involved in "those types of **** at my age".

BTW I'm typing this with the only thing that's not strapped down.:emoticon-0104-surpr

Oh, and the dogs keep smiling at me...Must be the 1 Cal spray.
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Hate to mention it B&AG but you may need to call the fire brigade:emoticon-0100-smile

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Ernie Shackleton said:
The missus dragged me to the flicks to see this a couple of weeks after it's release.

The cinema was not full but it was a healthy audience for an Orange Wednesday matinee and anticipating a couple of hours of boredom I stocked up on popcorn, nachos and the like and settled back in my seat. I noticed that I was the only bloke in the cinema, then the lights dimmed and the tedium commenced.

I'd bought a white chocolate Magnum and figured that I should eat that first. Unfurling it in the dark proved a challenge and half the side of chocolate fell onto my lap. I was quick and scooped it up immediately, popping it into my mouth as I watched some bint complaining about the state of her flat.

It didn't really get any better than that, although I did pick up some good DIY tips about alternative fixture methods. I finished my ket and passed a fairly pleasant couple of hours researching what it must be like to be dead.

The film finished rather abruptly at which point we shuffled out along with the 70 or so middle aged women who, like us, had **** all better to do on a wet Wednesday. As we entered the light my Missus' attention was drawn to my crotch. Not that an unusual occurance to be honest but not often mid afternoon in the foyer of an Odeon, not in recent memory at any count. 'What the **** have you been doing in there?' she snarled at me through gritted teeth. 'What' ya mean?' I questioned whilst glancing down at my offending area. Black trousers with several sticky white smears spreading out across the top of my right thigh.



Never been able to eat a white chocolate Magnum since.
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By eck Ernie I've heard some right excuses for cinema excess, but you don't say if you were on the back row or not, downstairs or not, shy does not becometh you. Magnum indeed, Tom Selleck would not be amused. :)
 
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