British politics

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Will Teresa May last as PM or be gone by the next round of party conferences?
Will Jeremy Corbyn ever stop pretending Labour won the last election?
Will Nicola Sturgeon admit the 2015 result was due to a wave of Nationalism and that within two more elections the SNP will be back to third place in Scottyland?
Will the entire Liberal Democrat Party please come to reception, your Uber driver is ready to collect you in his Prius
Will UKIP apologise for being a fascist one trick pony of a party and hurry along to become a footnote in the history books?
Will the DUP be a thorn in the Tories' side or will having to play with the big boys calm them down?
Will Plaid Cymru just parhau fel arfer?
Will the Green Party please report to reception, apparently there is room in the Prius for one more

Does Brexit still mean Brexit?

Yes, Brexit does still mean Brexit. May played a blinder by calling an election on the back of it, however, she nearly completely ****ed up, especially over some of the care policies, that probably and rightly cost her a load of votes.

The Scots were just as dumb or plain ignorant, they had chance of independence and blew it, maybe they should have read the Conservative manifesto before crossing the box, pretty much Cameron stitched everyone up with his own selfish complacency.

I think in another 4 years Le Pen could make another come back if things go tits up in France and opinions change.

We have elections in Germany and Italy around September this year and these could be the deciding factors of what happens next. The Italians are getting restless and were looking at the French outcome, which has probably been the saving grace for the EU - one the most evident factors across Europe is concerns about the Euro, which could lead to people wanting to change back to their own currency, and all this to the mess in Greece and Spain, I suggest people stop worrying about the UK, our decision has been made, it's who will next put a nail in the coffin of the EU and you can be sure we on our little island will have no say in that.
 
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My Manifesto: Part One
50% annual tax rebate for those who have paid into the coffers for at least three consecutive years
An opt-in for those who wish to contribute to Foreign Aid
Ten new super prisons to be built
The reinstatement of capital punishment for murder, rape, child abuse, terrorism and treason
Foreign criminals to be sent home with immediate effect
Ten-year sentences for each act of burglary
Twenty-year sentences for animal cruelty offences
VAT to be scrapped on organic produce
Scrapping of the Smoking Ban
Free seaside holidays for all impoverished families
Free membership of English Heritage and National Trust
Instant deportation of foreign gypsies (Irish, Roma et al)
The Royal Family to pay for itself after Lizzie II departs this mortal coil
Town and city councils to be fined for failing to house the homeless

Part Two to follow...
 
My Manifesto: Part One
50% annual tax rebate for those who have paid into the coffers for at least three consecutive years
An opt-in for those who wish to contribute to Foreign Aid
Ten new super prisons to be built
The reinstatement of capital punishment for murder, rape, child abuse, terrorism and treason
Foreign criminals to be sent home with immediate effect
Ten-year sentences for each act of burglary
Twenty-year sentences for animal cruelty offences
VAT to be scrapped on organic produce
Scrapping of the Smoking Ban
Free seaside holidays for all impoverished families
Free membership of English Heritage and National Trust
Instant deportation of foreign gypsies (Irish, Roma et al)
The Royal Family to pay for itself after Lizzie II departs this mortal coil
Town and city councils to be fined for failing to house the homeless

Part Two to follow...

You had me at hello.
 
My Manifesto: Part One
50% annual tax rebate for those who have paid into the coffers for at least three consecutive years
An opt-in for those who wish to contribute to Foreign Aid
Ten new super prisons to be built
The reinstatement of capital punishment for murder, rape, child abuse, terrorism and treason
Foreign criminals to be sent home with immediate effect
Ten-year sentences for each act of burglary
Twenty-year sentences for animal cruelty offences
VAT to be scrapped on organic produce
Scrapping of the Smoking Ban
Free seaside holidays for all impoverished families
Free membership of English Heritage and National Trust
Instant deportation of foreign gypsies (Irish, Roma et al)
The Royal Family to pay for itself after Lizzie II departs this mortal coil
Town and city councils to be fined for failing to house the homeless

Part Two to follow...

Mandatory prison sentences is a vote winner ...
 
Last edited:
My Manifesto: Part One
50% annual tax rebate for those who have paid into the coffers for at least three consecutive years
An opt-in for those who wish to contribute to Foreign Aid
Ten new super prisons to be built
The reinstatement of capital punishment for murder, rape, child abuse, terrorism and treason
Foreign criminals to be sent home with immediate effect
Ten-year sentences for each act of burglary
Twenty-year sentences for animal cruelty offences
VAT to be scrapped on organic produce
Scrapping of the Smoking Ban
Free seaside holidays for all impoverished families
Free membership of English Heritage and National Trust
Instant deportation of foreign gypsies (Irish, Roma et al)
The Royal Family to pay for itself after Lizzie II departs this mortal coil
Town and city councils to be fined for failing to house the homeless

Part Two to follow...

Thoroughly acceptable effort, well done.

Grove's manifesto

All women/girls between 13 and 40 to wear lycra leggings unless a) morbidly obese b) ladymen
A new offence for any coffee shop worker who asks your name
New "Suns out, Buns out" law
Rock out with your cock out Mondays, small penis humiliation will be punishable by castration
No VAT on fanny rags
Five year limit on all social housing tenancies
Compulsory health insurance for all including tourists and visitors, levy on Non-Doms returning for treatment on NHS
Amnesty on current asylum seekers with a two year embargo on any further immigration until we can count up who's here
Subsidized swimming, £5 to paddle about in the local pool is extortionate
All beggars removed from the streets and repatriated if foreign, sent to Luton if not (they won't notice there)
Five years in chokey for deliberately dropping litter
All graffiti "artists" made to scrub off their daubed nonsense from railway sidings
Compulsory music lessons in school studying classical, rock, reggae and soul. No Jazz.
Tax relief for small businesses with amusing names
Remove speed cameras from the roads and replace them with cameras at traffic signals to stop red light jumpers
Staring at tay-tays and going "fwoar!" to no longer be an offence
 
Thoroughly acceptable effort, well done.

Grove's manifesto

All women/girls between 13 and 40 to wear lycra leggings unless a) morbidly obese b) ladymen
A new offence for any coffee shop worker who asks your name
New "Suns out, Buns out" law
Rock out with your cock out Mondays, small penis humiliation will be punishable by castration
No VAT on fanny rags
Five year limit on all social housing tenancies
Compulsory health insurance for all including tourists and visitors, levy on Non-Doms returning for treatment on NHS
Amnesty on current asylum seekers with a two year embargo on any further immigration until we can count up who's here
Subsidized swimming, £5 to paddle about in the local pool is extortionate
All beggars removed from the streets and repatriated if foreign, sent to Luton if not (they won't notice there)
Five years in chokey for deliberately dropping litter
All graffiti "artists" made to scrub off their daubed nonsense from railway sidings
Compulsory music lessons in school studying classical, rock, reggae and soul. No Jazz.
Tax relief for small businesses with amusing names
Remove speed cameras from the roads and replace them with cameras at traffic signals to stop red light jumpers
Staring at tay-tays and going "fwoar!" to no longer be an offence
Your ideas on 13 year-old girls and amnesty for asylum seekers would see you hanged without delay.
 
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There's yer John Major, Paddy Ashdown and David Blunkett warned May off doing a deal with the DUP thus far today.