What would you tell your younger self?

On a tedious recruitment course the other day and one of the ways they said you could liven up an interview would be to ask what advice you'd give to yourself when you were younger.

I'd tell the younger Grove "Staring at a bird doesn't work. Trying to mind-meld from across the dance floor doesn't work. Hoping she will see you and fall instantly in love doesn't work. Being that funny guy doesn't work. Rohypnol might just work"

What advice would you give?

 

Never read a Grove thread.

 

Don't join spn...

 

I would tell myself "if you ever get the chance of getting in Fiona Wilson's knickers, do not hesitate, because if you miss out you will regret it for the rest of your life".

 

I would tell myself to strangle myself with my umbilical chord on the way out

 

**cord.

 

As soon as you are able to get a mortgage (about 1999 for me), buy a property in London.
If I'd done that I could have retired aged 40.

 

Just don't.

 

Choad

 

Only if you planned to move out of London. And I really don't understand why anyone would choose to do that.

For instance, the equity in my flat is worthless unless I wish to move to a cultural desert surrounded by Brexit voting Jeremy Kyle fans swigging White Lightning on their **** stained sofas

 

@Gambol

 

I wouldn't have moved into London. The property would've been rented out until it reached a stupidly high value then sold.

 

Your rent wouldn't even cover your mortgage because the yields are so low in London, however there are places in the world where yields are fantastic. PM me for details

 

I like London but equally liked getting the hell out of it. Spent a few years working in central London and flew home most weekends.

 

'Just don't' what?

Phone the football phone-in?
Beel about everything?
Join Not606?
Reveal your identity on a football forum?
Disrespect your proud Protestant father by dawning the paedo's apron?
Get thrown out the coppers?
Suck on Twizz Davis's cock?

Just don't what, Russ?

 

Timeshares in Kinshasa?

 

Nope, while there isn't much of a price risk there, the exit, macro economic and management risks are far too high

 

Don't annoy you to the point where he becomes your obsession ya creepy ****.

 

I'm watching you and your purple nose buddy.

 

You seem to know a lot about him...