Off Topic The Sullivan & Gold Comedy Corner

As can be seen below, I completely ****ed this one up.

Thanks SD.

 

wrong thread?

 

You had a little 'David moment' there.

 

One West Scam blog is reporting the club were desperate to sign a right back in January, so the club decided to make a move for Kieran Tripper.

How many seconds do we think the conversation went before Levy hung up on them?

 

Should've loaned the Walker-Peters. He could've learned what life's like at a **** club.

 

Absolutely. "Kid, this is what will become of you if you don't pull your finger out. You'll be playing for a mickey mouse team with a manager who wears a tin foil hat and whose touchline demeanour gives the impression of a man desperately trying to clinch off an urgent dump, with a chairman who cannot count and fans who have to be sat 50 metres away from the pitch due to the abundance of restraining orders and ankle tags amongst them. It's for your own protection, of course, and probably better that you wont be able to hear their songs about gas chambers. In any event, by the 70th minute it is all academic as only the away fans will still be in the stadium. And, as long as they don't support Chelsea, you shouldn't have any projectiles lobbed in your general direction when you are trying to focus on the game.
So there you have it son, consider yourself warned."

 

From The Star on Sunday -

• West Ham are planning to sell Andy Carroll in the summer - and replace him with Liverpool's Daniel Sturridge.

Only The Spammers could be thinking of replacing a player who makes the team for 1 in 4 games with one who doesn't play at all. More ridiculous than when they signed Ljungberg and Kieron Dyer. I hope they've got good medical insurance.

 

Sturridge didn't start getting his weekly "injuries" until Klopp took over, he is not the only player Klopp has pissed off either.

 

Including coming on as a sub his appearances in all competitions are:

2012-13 he made 16 (14) appearances
2013-14 he made 33 (29) appearances
2014-15 he made 18 (12) appearances
2015-16 he made 25 (14) appearances
2016-17 he made 21 (14) appearances ...so far

League games in brackets.

Doesn't bear out what you are saying really

 

Go home Diego, you're drunk.

 

http://www.transfermarkt.co.uk/daniel-sturridge/verletzungen/spieler/47082

 

Sullivan having a go at the manager, coaching staff and the team...any one but himself.

http://www.skysports.com/football/n...nd-west-ham-to-improve-after-bournemouth-loss

Good to see porno stadium poncer staying classy

 

From the BBC:

Good news for the existing 52,000 West Ham season ticket holders. Bad news for the 55,000 on the waiting list.

The Hammers have announced a price freeze on season tickets for their second campaign at the London Stadium.

The cheapest adult's season ticket for the 2016/27 season was £289, with under-16s tickets costing just £99. Those who renew for next season will be able to pay the same price.

...it's not just timing that makes for great comedy.

 

How can they have 52000 season ticket holders?
That only leaves 8000 tickets...mainly for away fans...so there "membership" schemes are pretty pointless as there are no tickets for members to buy.
Thought there were rules about what percentage of your crowd could be season ticket holders as well.
Otherwise WHL would be filled with season ticket holders and away fans only.

 

Overselling seats perhaps? It certainly sounds plausible for the business geniuses in the West Scam boardroom to think they can get away with charging more than one person for the same seat...

 

Didn't they run that promotional offer in the Standard? Collect 5 coupons, send them in with £1.50 and receive a season ticket?

 

They cancelled it - no takers!!

 

They probably don't have. News agencies often quote wrong numbers as "facts" but unless you know a bit about the subject or can do a bit of simple maths people probably don't notice. There's been several times where I've heard a number quoted and had a double-take thinking "that can't be possible". The other bugbear of mine is where they say that N amount of something happens, but they don't say how often - like they're talking about a recurring charge, tell you that the charge is £ but don't say how often it needs to be paid.

 

I thought that there were rules about this too, but I can't seem to find them anywhere.
West Ham's is comfortably the highest percentage though, as far as I can work out.
87% season tickets? Stoke are next with 74%.

10,000 of them are U16s at £99 a pop. I can't even knock them for that, to be honest.
Gets a whole generation of kids used to going and watching their team live.
I'd be quite happy if this was the case for us at the new stadium, though I suspect it won't be.

 

Then allow me.

THEY GOT A STADIUM COSTING MANY HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF POUNDS FOR FREE.

WE THE RESIDENTS OF LONDON PAID FOR IT AND THEY GET TO KEEP ALL OF THE PROCEEDS OF THE SALE OF THE LAND UPON WHICH THEIR FORMER HOME WAS BUILT, BAR A PALTRY £15M WHICH SUPPOSEDLY REPRESENTS A CONTRIBUTION TO THE £325M [AND RISING] COST OF MAKING THE PLACE APPEAR READY TO HOST FOOTBALL.

OFFERING A FEW KIDS CHEAP TICKETS SEEMS PRECIOUS LITTLE TO ME. THEY SHOULD BE ALLOWING ANYONE WHO PAID FOR IT FREE ACCESS WHENEVER THEY WANT OR HANDING OVER THE CASH TO REPRESENT A PROPER CONTRIBUTION TO OUR LOSSES.

How's that?