The All-New "Mouser Watch!" Thread

I've decided to pack it in over on the Spurs board - too much petty-minded prissiness for my liking. Plus, our mods appear to have turned into versions of PESKIE, in that no one dare criticise the team or the club, for fear that that a rift will open in the space-time continuum causing the Universe to instantaneously implode. So, I've thrown my toys out of my pram, kicked the pram over, and left home. If you don't mind, I think I will spend some time sleeping rough on a bench in this particular park.

On that note, I don't think I could do without the "Mouser Watch" thread that was probably the best thread on the Spurs board (congratulations to who ever started that one running - fantastic bloke and true supporter of his club, whoever he was).

The trick with this thread is that it's not really about LFC, but about the fans, themselves (the Mousers, which is truncated cockney rhyming slang - derived from "Mickey Mouser" - meaning "Scouser). I often described the thread on the Spurs board as a mirror into which Mousers may gaze to find a true reflection of who and what they really are. The bottom line is, that they are deluded, and the "mirror" is a therapeutic tool by which they may, over sufficient time, denude and rid themselves of their delusion and, thereby, return to reality and live normal, healthy lives among normal people.

It is not a thread that ought to be seen as an opportunity to wum. Indeed, I would actively discourage wumming.

It is valid to discuss LFC, it's manager and their players, so long as such use enables posters to expand on arguments that highlight Mouser delusions.

Highlighting delusions spouted in the 'Pool-loving media is most certainly welcome.

So, folks! Welcome to the All-New "Mouser Watch!" thread! Let the therapy commence!

 

Is this going to supersede the one on your board old chap? Better get your mate PNP to close the old one so we don't get to miss a word.

 

You could be off to a good start with us struggling against Sunderland.

 

Nah, Ozzie. I'm happy enough to leave it to them as a gift - the jewel in the board's crown. After they're all done agreeing with one another and kissing one another's arses, they can go and gaze into the mirror, themselves, for a little while. Unfortunately, there are quite a few of my fellow Spurs fans who need to denude themselves of delusion.

But, be that as it may, this thread is all about Mouser delusions.

 

The commentator on BBC Football Live is wetting his pants at the prospect of Slippy G spurring 'Pool on to a winner. Absolutely no thought, at all, for how fantastically well Stoke have down, or any consideration for the feeling of the Stoke fans.

It's great to see that the hard-earned tax-payers' money is not being spunked away on biased hacks.

 

Brendan Rodgers says Tuesday's must-win Champions League game with Basel is a chance for his players to write themselves into Liverpool folklore.

REALLY for beating Basel at home things hitting rock bottom there, well if they do will probably get Bayern next round and play the reserves in a master tactical plan that he dreamt up in Rodger-Land.

 

If 'Pool win this, we'll be inundated with comments from Mousers proclaiming "'Pool are back on track, eh, lad!" and "Stevie G is the resurrected Christ, yet again, wack!" and we'll all shake our heads in utter disbelief and wait quietly for their next defeat.

However, if they lose and get booted out of the CL and demoted to the Europa, the same Mousers will be telling us that 'Pool are still the best team that has "ever" played in Europe, and will drag out the same old tired stats that they've been using since their glory heydays, back in the 70s, and we will all shake our heads in embarrassment.

Be warned, my friends! Ridding the Mouser of his delusion (which is what this thread is all about) will not be easy, and you must be prepared for the long haul on this one.

Anyway, you can all follow the match on this thread, if you wish, where I, and many others I am sure, will be posting some helpful (non-wumming, please) comments.

 

I tell you what, Brenda is probably right about 'Pool players going down in club folklore.

If they lose this game to Basle, many years from now the children of Merseyside will listen, in wonder, as some bearded twat in a chunky sweater sings "The Ballad of Slippy G," that plaintive song where an erstwhile football player is taken to Reading Jail to have his bollocks removed by an angry mob.

 

"Steven Gerrard pops a crossfield pass out to the right which Glen Johnson can't control. Gerrard lets rip with a mouthful of Scouse..."
(commentary on BBC Football Live)

Cheeky bastard! Slippy G wants to improve his own game before he starts screaming abuse at other players!

 

View attachment 34365

View attachment 34368

To be fair to the Liverpool players, it is tough playing away from home in front of 3k Swiss fans

 

What irks me in all of this - and I've said this so many times, now - is the fact that anyone in the 'Pool-loving media is at all surprised that 'Pool are playing like a mid-table side!

Anyone with a brain and half a dozen functioning brain-cells could see that 'Pool only achieved what it did last season because Goofy The Cannibal (a very good player in ordinary seasons) had the season of his career. LFC was a one-man team, and Goofy got them into the CL. If 'Pool had had a couple more half-decent players, they would probably have won the league, too. But they didn't have any other half-decent players, which is the prime reason why they are so ****e now that Goofy has left.

In a way, it was cruel for Goofy to leave 'Pool until after their CL campaign had ended, because he was opening up LFC for the very kind of humiliations in that competition that we have all witnessed. When a mid-table Prem team comes up against the likes of Real and Basle, there is only ever going to be one outcome, I'm afraid.

And it is indicative of the Mouser delusion that they do not openly acknowledge that Goofy was the sole reason why 'Pool had any kind of decent season, last season. Well, reality was bound to kick-in at some time, and that time has arrived. Facts are facts. Just look at the table, Mousers.

 

The worrying thing for Mousers has surely got to be the fact that they are losing to a very poor United side.

United may be third in the table, but they are a million miles from winning the league.

 

You mean those mods who you cowered behind after your very public meltdown on the spurs board.

The same mods who you then told to **** off after your latest meltdown.

'I've thrown my toys out of the pram' that should be your new user name

 

Do you actually have anything to say about Mouser delusions?

 

No, I don't. I was responding to your comment about me in the OP.

Don't like it, then don't do it

You know how this will end up. With you having a meltdown and blubbing about being attacked, whilst simultaneously trying to claim you've 'owned me.'

 

Then I suggest you **** off.

I really don't have a preference either way. You want to keep making a complete and utter tit of yourself, you carry on, pal.

Oh, I don't think so. You seem to be forgetting one very small but important part in the story. My beef with the Spurs mods, at the time, was that you were being permitted to come onto our board and spout your vile vitriol, but as soon as I retaliated in kind, I go PMs telling me to cool it.

On here, it seems to be the case that I can treat you with the complete contempt that you deserve, and that is exactly what I intend to do. What's to "blub" about? I can out-think you, out-banter you, and tell you to go and **** yourself, all in equal measure. Sounds like great fun to me!

 

Injured Liverpool striker Daniel Sturridge: "Absolutely gutted for everyone. Woke up and watched the game and it hurts. I'm optimistic though and I hope everyone else feels the same. Just know I'm working hard to ensure I'm back healthy. I miss everything about the game. I can't wait to help us be successful."
(Twitter to BBC Football website)

"I just woke up, but please know that I am working hard to get back to full fitness..."


You couldn't make this up!

 

They must have nicknamed you "Lightning" your so fast HIAG

 

For somebody who repeatedly claims to 'own me', it sure does read a lot like a m...m....m....meltdown from where I'm standing

You will notice hiag, that I only ever return your comments about me and turn them around so that they blow up in your face. You make it too easy. I haven't even got warmed up yet

 

It's "you're," Dave.

But, yes, I did have a nickname at school.

The Stud.

Pretty cool, huh?