Steven Caulker article

I have only just read the article.
He makes an awful lot of excuses in there doesn't he.
I am not sure he has accepted he is to blame in any way.

 

Don't assume he feels that he carries any blame. Actually, don't assume there's any 'blame' to be carried. Having a mental illness, whether permanent or temporary, isn't something that's your fault. It happens. and when you understand it's happening, the last thing that you need is anyone saying either "it'll be alright" (because you can't see how it could possibly be) or "snap out of it" (because you really, really can't, and that's all you want to do).

This isn't an exercise in contrition or responsibility, nobody needs to apologise or forgive for anything. It's something that can hit anyone, no matter their profession, celebrity status or wealth.

 

This.

All the rest is prejudice or/and ignorance.

 

In your opinion. I do have sympathy and do not understand it all but it was just an observation.

 

It's a completely subjective act - assessing someone's mental health from the outside. The more extreme cases are easy enough to judge for most people. As it goes more borderline, the more personal perception of the individual comes into it.

In the crudest terms, if Caulker was a fans' favourite then more people would be wishing him well in the fight against his demons but since he hasn't lit up games for us we'd prefer not to taint our idea of his villainy and would prefer him to be a fraud in his claims.

Only the man himself will genuinely know if he has mental health issues although, since he talks about it several months after cleaning himself up, I'm inclined to believe he is ill (moreso than if he'd made the claim in court).

I wish him all the best because I think there's good in him but think a move to the continent might do him best (I wouldn't want to be in the UK with gambling and drinking problems).

 

He needs to grow up and be responsible for his own actions.

More ability, talent and opportunity that millions of kids could dream of and he is squandering it, pathetic.

Probably earns more than most of us lot combined too and for pretty much doing fak all for two years beyond crying about his poor, torn self.

So as far as I am concerned Mr Caulker, stop whining because in your case, sympathy is merely another word that sits somewhere between 5hit and syphilis in the dictionary.

Should I cancel my Samaritans application ?

 

I'm really not sure whether Caulker is an addict or a waster, but I'm prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt. I know a little bit about addiction, and if he really is afflicted in this way he probably feels every bit as worthless as you seem to consider him to be. He should be afforded some sympathy in my opinion.

 

I would be more sympathetic if he was relinquishing his wages or at least a very big part of them. Maybe he is for all we know.

 

this is so similar to Clarke Carlisle. I hope Caulker can get his head straight. Maybe walking away from football into a 9 to 5 job might help or go abroad to Africa where he helped others. There has also been the story of the teenage Luton player walking away from professional game due to the pressures (and his subsequent mental health battles).

I just wonder whether all the money that gets pumped into the game, is a major cause of these problems. When you think back to when Stanley Matthews was playing, he would board a bus with fans to get to a game, (and there was more like he is one of us playing for the club) these days the players have to arrive incognito - meaning that they are virtually kept away from the fans

 

This is the most crass statement I have ever read on a notice board! In fact I'm fuming so much that I intend this to be my last post on this board!

"He needs to grow up & be responsible for his own actions & to stop whining".

Firstly, by accepting that that he has depression he has fulfilled all of which you demand. From what I read, he has not asked for any symphathy but has acknowledged that he has not delivered his potential. He is only blaming himself for that.

Below is what I wrote on LFW & Report, but hadn't posted on this site as I regarded some of this thread to be toxic. You, Mr. IwasanotherwatfordR have taken it to another universe! Thank God, it is a universe I will never be in!

Depression sufferers, of which I am/was one don't try to justify our (in)actions. Once we have accepted that we have this condicion, we just ask to be given time & space to recover. Is that really too much to ask for?

"It would appear that at last Steven Caulker ia accepting of his problems. That is a massive step forward & until he had done so he had no chance of help, whether offered or not.

Never mind if he is able to play football again, he now has a chance to recover a little self respect & that is so important. Of course he will still have days when he will loathe himself & fail to understand why anyone would wish to love/support him. Each one of those days he will be in danger of falling back into the chasm of dispondancy & he will need to dredge up a great amount of courage & self believe to avert this.

It is not easy, but the reward for dragging yourself up from that pit is indescribable.

For the first time I can now support Steven & wish him all the best in his struggle. I do hope that he can surround himself with perople that have his best interests at heart and that they don't try to rush his recovery. It is very important for them to accept that he will only be able to discuss his problems (or talk in general) when he is up to it & then only with some people. That may not include those closest to him. My experience is that you can talk far more freely to those that you are not in danger of hurting.

It took me over forty years to accept (or even consider) that I suffered from depression. Making that acceptance was the hardest part for me, but strangely enough I then found it quite easy to admit to anyone (I probably bored many) that I had depression. Thankfully I climbed from the hole three(?) years ago & although coming close to the edge at times, so far I haven't really been in danger of returning."

 

I am sorry my post offended you. I too have had some personal experience of depression and addiction. For that reason I do not feel my post was at all crass.

Addiction begins with a choice, a choice made many times. No one becomes addicted without repeatedly taking the substance many, many times before they become addicted. I struggle to adopt a "poor victim of drug or alcohol dependency" when this is entirely self inflicted.

Depression - I appreciate there is a medical issue which gives rise to this condition. I also believe some people use it to garner pity, perhaps when their behaviour has been less than acceptable.

Perhaps it is that I spent part of yesterday in a cancer ward with close family that caused my sympathy gene to be inactive for poor old Steven.

i sincerely hope that my views do not cause you or anyone else to abandon this great forum.

 

Have to side with Terry, not for his thoughts about the poster but what he says about depression. The one thing that will cause most harm to a depressive is judging them. Their own self judgement was likely what pushed them into depression in the first place, and feeling that people are looking at them critically only makes things worse.

He needs time, care and counselling by people he can trust 100%, and the space to get his perspective straight.

 

WLW - if he is truly unwell - I wish him all the very best.

I'm going to give the forum here a break for a bit.

 

Sadly, I think someone with mental health problems that deep will always been close to the edge. With issues like him it's more risky than an injury prone player.

 

Harry will sort him out!