Something I enjoy is telling people ridiculous things with a completely straight face and getting them to believe me, even if it's only for a few seconds I count it as a win. For example I had my wife believing that the Brownlee brothers (triathletes) were getting married to each other but had to go and live in Estonia because that's the only country that legally allows brothers to get married. It was a hard sell and I had to deadpan the crap out of it but she did eventually buy it. Anyone got any good wind ups or practical jokes from over the years?
When my daughter moved up with her mum when she was just a little lass I used to squeeze glass bottles to get the last few drops out of it. She didn't cotton on for years. It's the simple things in life that make me laugh!
When I was a youngan my dad told me always to fish under the bridge when it was raining as that's where the fish were took me about 10 years before I cottoned on the T wat.
May have said this before but I had to send 2 lads down to the car plant in Luton. I told the apprentice that the driver was deaf in his left ear so he would have to shout or speak very slowly so he could lip read. I told the driver that the apprentice was deaf in his right ear so likewise he had to shout or speak loudly but very slowly allowing the apprentice the opportunity of what was being said. At Scotch corner one of them finally decide to ask how long the other had been deaf. Obviously at that point it came out I was talking b*llocks and the following phone call back to me in the office resulted in quite a few personal insults and expletives.
I'm like you Nacho, it's in me to wind people up on an almost daily basis. For about 3 months I went through a spell on Facebook where every time I would see people asking for a taxi number, takeaway number etc. I would always reply '01914547555, tell them I said hello'. That number takes you straight through to Northumbria Police. I thought it was slightly amusing until 3 coppers turned up at my door to say 'hello' and warn me that if it didn't stop I'd be getting nicked. I stopped it after that.
Do stuff like this all the time. Nowt stands out as a story though Just general bullshit mischief. I know what invention revolutionised my mischief as a young teen though. Pay As You Go. Wow, the ability to prank call and be in a position to see your work being carried out was brilliant. We ordered 10 pizzas over 2 hours and sent them to our mate as he wasn't allowed to come out. We just dossed at the bottom of the street seeing delivery boy after delivery boy get angrier and angrier responses for his mother. She was ****in fuming man. **** her. Horrible woman, her bad day turned into everyone's bad day. She deserved it.
Ha ha! Well I was about 14 when mobiles went pay as you go so there's no excuse really, kids of my age at that time were obligated to cause trouble with it. Such a novilty back then. Never done it since but in the right situation could still be funny.
Only last week......A mate of mine who works at the Australian Embassy had a leaving party to which me and the wife were invited. I asked my missus if she knew how to address the Ambassador if we got to meet him. She said she didn't know..so I said, as Australia is part of the commonwealth the Ambassador is appointed by the Queen and as such he represents her in the UAE, therefore he must be addressed as "Your Majesty" She only went and did it...OMG!!
I used to give my mobile out as 07771568880. It was a direct number through to the Buckingham Palace terrorist hotline. It's changed now and don't ask me how I knew it.
Convinced a mate at school that the pope had converted to islam. Wind my wife up like this all the time. Last week I had her mortified that she had been saying mayhem all her life when it is of course haymem. Just **** like that.
Good fun isn't it, it's a challenge too because she knows I'm full of **** and probably winding her up but I can still get her pretty much every time. Told her once that there were no scientific names for dog's bones so they were all simply called 'dog bones' and you have to point at the one you mean.
Why is it not a surprise the short scrawny little prick has had 4 ****s already today? Cause he's full of it.
