Masturbating Spider watched me whilst I showered

The trouble with having a **** in the bath is you really need to plan things. It's a nightmare when you're not planned and you're just sat in the tub with a hand full of jizz thinking 'oh **** I need to get to the toilet roll or sink quick time'.

 

Thanks, mate.

That jibe is certain to live on in the minds of you lads for quite a while. I know that it had a devastating impact when I cracked it, to such a point that the victim still hasn't fully recovered from it. In the hands of any but the most masterful of wumsters, a jibe like that could have fatal consequences.

 

.....when the real ones feel so much nicer.

 

Maybe the spider was after a facial?

 

I won't do that. I don't want to encourage it. Haven't taken my shower yet today, but yesterday it was next to the shower but didn't join me. Maybe I should just squish it. I usually live and let live with spiders since they eat insects.

 

Let it gobble you off first, mate, and see if you like it.

No need to be too hasty. Especially as Boris seems content to play the waiting game.

 

Why boris, Bell, are you that old that you remember the Who's hit?

 

I have loads of spiders watch me sleep everynight. Joys of keeping Tarantulas, tho I've not invited one to shower with me but it's something to consider in the future

 

Tarantulas are commonplace here but when seen don't last long.

 

I cracked a Boris the Spider joke a while back. HIAG clearly added it to his list of plagiarisms.

 

The spider must have been having a real " Hexathon " with all those little appendages doing time .And here I thought the webs were made out of silk .

 

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If you ever want or have sex in bed keep an eye on them, see if they get excited.

 

Trust me, I was completely unaware of that "joke" of yours, Pix.

You have only a scratch 'n' sniff knowledge of humour, mate.

In you hop...

 

I reckon this is well worth the while of some University department conducting some much needed reseach, Milky.

 

2am net rant

A sure sign that HIAG has been done again

 

Hiag posted at 2.15 as he and his band had just finished their headlining set at Glastonbury - they were on the other Other Stage.
Mark Radcliffe thought they were just "the bollocks", but Jo Whiley thought they were just "bollocks".

 

Locked out again no doubt, he must have a premier inn gold card.

 

This has to be a contender for thread title of the year!

 

It's brilliant and ridiculous in equal measure.

Think luv had it spot on with the first response