Off Topic Lighten Up - have a laugh: Warning, may contain Adult Material

Interesting, well thought out short film. It's concept is simple and the ending left me puzzled. Nice, well made effort.

 

Wouldn't want to watch it while tripping!

 

Extract from an email from my sister:

"Have just been for my hospitable admission assessment. I have been given a walking stick to practice with, but am now walking twice as far as I keep leaving the damn thing behind."

 

A reporter doorsteps Bobby Charlton and asks him how he thinks the England team of 1966 would have done against Iceland. Charlton thought a second and told the reporter, “We would have beaten them 1-0.” “Only 1-0?” exclaims the reporter. “Yes,” said Charlton, “we’re all in our seventies now, lad.”

 

Erm, wasn't Rudi Voeller directing his spleen against Bayerische Rundfunks's Waldemar Hartmann (2003 in Reykjavik)? Don't think it was Netzer? Poor old Waldemar, a real Bayer, was totally blown away, took him months to recover, if he ever did! I quote:

"The public even forgave Völler when - during a TV interview in September 2003 - he lost his temper, used dirty language, even attacked and yelled at the presenter Waldemar Hartmann in order to defend his team against unfair press statements."

(Some stupid bastard has left a poor old dog tied-up to a tree or something right outside our place, poor critter is yelling its head off. DI Swan-Hills leaving to investigate. Will have to call the RSPCA, or whatever it's called down here, I guess. Can't bring it inside, our little cat will do something in her drawers for sure, she's not used to canine visitors).

 

Ah yes, that's right Oddy, long time ago but I do remember old Hartmann was involved. He was very upset about it. Very popular with the ladies down her, is our Waldemar, "Er heißt Waldemar, und er ist wunderbar", or something like that, as the old Zarah Leander song goes.

Well, the chorus is, to be exact:

"Er heißt Waldemar und hat schwarzes Haar,
er ist weder stolz noch kühn aber ich liebe ihn.
Er heißt Waldemar und der ist kein Star;
seine Heimat ist Berlin, aber ich liebe ihn."

 

Saw a note by a bloke named Tricky.

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Unfortunately I have not 'mastered' uploading to this site. One of my 'real' friends 'shared' a letter to a local newspaper on Facebook.

The gist of the contribution was that the author who works in a call centre had just been informed by the management that his job was 'moving' to India. He was extremely pleased as he had always wanted to visit India and, with his current salary, he would be able to live like a king in this far off land!

 

Kenny, just open one of these comment sections and hit "enter" one or twice. Then open another site and type in horse pic, the choose one and hover the cursor over the pic. Click and hold down left part of mouse and take the pic to the comment section you opened and place it next to the blinking line and release. Bingo.

 

I have one of those in my car doesn't say much but very handy!

 

News Flash!
All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.
Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen.. Aleve is also called Naproxen.
Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on
the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadroopin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use
as a mixer..
It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO. Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.
This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with
them.

 

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OK Ron. Make sure your wife doesn't make the same mistake as the woman below....

Last week, she checked into a motel on her 70th birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a silver dollar off his well oiled bum....

She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call.

"Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you? . . Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!

Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage. I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I'm ready!! Now how does that sound?"

He said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."

 

Or the Irishman....

Apology from an Irish Hospital... SUCH COMPASSION !

DEAR MR. MURPHY,
We are pleased to inform you that the biopsy of the redness on your penis showed it was not cancerous.It was lipstick.
We deeply regret the amputation.

 

Seen that one before Tam

 

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