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Off Topic How do you grade a fart?

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by C19RK73, Jun 17, 2017.

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  1. C19RK73

    C19RK73 Red & White army!

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    I remember 3/4 it moves on
     
    #21
    C19RK73, Jun 17, 2017
  2. C19RK73

    C19RK73 Red & White army!

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    5/6 hurts

    7 and beyond requires equipment
     
    #22
    C19RK73, Jun 17, 2017
  3. Nacho

    Nacho Well-Known Member

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    I usually pull my t-shirt over my nose when I'm changing a brown nappy but you don't get that kind of warning for farts.

    Fortunately my wife's farts forced me to build a fully smell repellent industrial strength underground bunker so I'll use that when the babs get bad.
     
    #23
    Nacho, Jun 17, 2017
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  4. C19RK73

    C19RK73 Red & White army!

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    Forward thinking, I like it
     
    #24
    C19RK73, Jun 17, 2017
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  5. C19RK73

    C19RK73 Red & White army!

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    #25
    C19RK73, Jun 18, 2017
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  6. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    If they smell in the open air as well that deserves an extra point.

    On a trip to Blackpool once I was sitting in the back row on a 50 seater coach and let one rip. It sounded like a hippopotamus asking for a hot water bottle, with a slightly wet squelchy tone. Anyway it was so bad that they stopped the coach allowing people to get off and have 5 mins of fresh air.
    That is my claim to fame. I was quite impressed with myself to be honest. It was deffo a 10.
     
    #26
    Gil T Azell, Jun 18, 2017
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  7. Dorset

    Dorset Well-Known Member

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    <laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh> makes me think of Del Trotters Jolly Boys Outing
     
    #27
    Dorset, Jun 18, 2017
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  8. Deletion Requested1

    Deletion Requested1 Well-Known Member

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    That's exactly what I thought of when I read it <laugh>
     
    #28
    Deletion Requested1, Jun 18, 2017
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  9. monty987

    monty987 Well-Known Member

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    mr methane the king
     

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    #29
    monty987, Jun 18, 2017
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  10. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    i work with a lad who empties the office when he farts.. It is absolutely disgusting..
     
    #30
    MrRAWhite, Jun 18, 2017
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  11. Billy Death

    Billy Death Well-Known Member

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    This thread ****ing stinks.
    Literally.
     
    #31
    Billy Death, Jun 18, 2017
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  12. Dorset

    Dorset Well-Known Member

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    <laugh><laugh><laugh>:emoticon-0172-mooni
     
    #32
    Dorset, Jun 18, 2017
  13. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    I believe that the official grading of farts was divised by the well known botanist Dr Alf Hart..
     
    #33
    MrRAWhite, Jun 18, 2017
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  14. haslam

    haslam Well-Known Member

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    He published that back in 2015 though, last year was his Anus Horribilus.
     
    #34
    haslam, Jun 18, 2017
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  15. mackemwelder

    mackemwelder Well-Known Member

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    But did you sit through it? or get off yourself?
     
    #35
    mackemwelder, Jun 19, 2017
  16. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Must admit I had a couple of deep inhalations revelling in the musky smell but just to be sociable I felt I should get off in sympathy with my fellow colleagues. Got a bit grief off some but some hi fives off others who were impressed with its quality.
     
    #36
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2017
    Gil T Azell, Jun 19, 2017
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  17. Deletion Requested1

    Deletion Requested1 Well-Known Member

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    At my time of life it is quit easy to grade a fart - If it turns out that it is actually ONLY a fart then it gets 10 out of 10 from me :shocked:
     
    #37
    Deletion Requested1, Jun 19, 2017
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  18. Burly Hurley

    Burly Hurley Well-Known Member

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    Just farted on the treadmill down the gym earlier.

    It wasn't noxious but definitely scored on decibels! <laugh>

    Couldn't do nothing but laugh out loud with a few others around me.

    What's worrying though is I had no idea it was coming!

    Another sign of losing control of my faculties I guess :(
     
    #38
    Burly Hurley, Jun 19, 2017
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  19. mackemwelder

    mackemwelder Well-Known Member

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    Involuntary farting isn't losing your faculties mate, it's only when you follow through that you can make that claim :) then you're in trouble.
     
    #39
    mackemwelder, Jun 20, 2017
  20. marcusblackcat

    marcusblackcat SAFC Sheriff
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    My son is like that but he's 12 and a boy!!!! He will brew one up and intentionally come downstairs to fart in front of me and the missus then walk away! Little sod!!

    My daughter is learning that too!
     
    #40
    marcusblackcat, Jun 20, 2017
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