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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Be careful people, there are a lot of scams on the internet.

    For £19.99 I can show you how to avoid them.......
     
    #2821
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    What"s the difference between a Lada and a sheep?

    It"s less embarrassing being seen getting out of the back of a sheep.
     
    #2822
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    have you been drinking woopert
    you posted most of these on wednesday
     
    #2823
    kiwiqpr, Jun 9, 2017
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Women are very strange creatures. They love lingerie and they love car boot sales.

    Yet when I buy my wife some lingerie from the car boot sale for her birthday I suddenly turn into a useless, thoughtless bastard.
     
    #2824
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    (1) No ; (2) Not on this thread - only Barnsley page..........hope that answers your question :)
     
    #2825
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    George wakes up in hospital after a serious operation.
    "I have good news and bad news," says the doctor.
    "The good news is that we managed to save your testicles."
    "Thank God," says George.
    "And what"s the bad news?"
    The doctor replies, "they"re in a bag under your pillow."
     
    #2826
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #2827
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #2828
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #2829
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Annoy SpecSavers staff by wandering up to their counter squinting your eyes whilst looking up behind them.

    When they ask if they can help you say, "Big Mac meal please!"
     
    #2830
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I felt a bit fed up today so to cheer myself up I watched my wedding video backwards.

    I love the end bit where I take my ring off, go back down the aisle , jump in the car and f*ck off.
     
    #2831
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Be careful, there's a gangster going around pulling up the back of peoples pants, "I think his name is Wedgie Kray."
     
    #2832
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I asked my boss, "What do you want me to do with this 6 metre roll of bubble wrap?"

    He replied, "Just pop it in the corner."

    4 f*cking hours it took me!
     
    #2833
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    sorry woopsy
    must have been someone else on page 139
    <badger>:emoticon-0172-mooni<badger>:emoticon-0172-mooni<party><party><party><party><badger>:emoticon-0172-mooni
     
    #2834
    kiwiqpr, Jun 9, 2017
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My blonde wife and I got into an argument because I accused her of being stupid.

    Eventually she jumped up out of her chair and yelled, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't walk out that door!"

    I replied, "The plane hasn't landed yet."
     
    #2835
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    God dammit - alright, you have caught me out your honour. Mind you, they were so good I couldn't help posting them a second time.........
     
    #2836
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    It was in the news the otherday that Alexis Sanchez is unsure over his Arsenal future and has refused to rule out a move to Bayern Munich.

    Today, fire crews were spotted at his country mansion tackling a blaze.

    Police suspect Arsene.
     
    #2837
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Conservatives 319 seats,

    Labour 261 seats,

    SNP 34 seats,

    Lib Dems 12 seats,

    UKIP 0 seats,

    Manchester City 20,000 empty seats.
     
    #2838
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    "Can you get some bleach and some washing powder whilst you're out?" My wife asked.

    "Can you not wait until you've opened your birthday presents?" I replied.
     
    #2839
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Liverpool have announced that they have signed 91 year old Dick Van Dyke on a 3 year contract to make up for missing out on his cousin Virgil.........


    please log in to view this image
     
    #2840
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2017
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